O.K. Raider fans it's no secret that the man who brought you to greatness is the same man who is ruining your franchise . Big Al , always with his decrepit hands on the franchise . This man's refusal to let anyone else have even one iota of power has sent your team from a Superbowl loss in 2002 to the worst team in history since .
Now you may think that it will take decades to reverse the trend that Leasure Suit Al has created but I disagree . I could do it in three years . This is how .
Step 1-CONTINUE TO SUCK - at 1 - 4 this year is over . Make it a point to loose the rest of your games in an effort to go 1 - 15 and get the number 1 pick .( so long as Rams dont one up you ) I suggest starting J.Russel every game .
Step 2 -TRADE EVERBODY - and I mean everybody , like it was Madden 2003 . You already got the first pick in 2010 , now trade J.russel and your 3rd and 5th pick to the Rams for for their 1st and 3rd , thus getting rid of your biggest contract . Then trade D.McFadden and your 4th and 6th pick to the Browns for they're 1st rounder and 7th rounder . Now barring the unimaginable you have the first 3 picks in the 2010 draft .
Continue this way of thinking all the way down . Seymore for a 1st and 3rd , Asomgwauh for a 1st , 3rd , 4th , and 5th , trade your starters for mid-round picks , trade your scrubs for 5 to 7's . Do this until all of your current players are gone and you have 40 to 50 picks in the 2010 draft. It doesn't matter if 35 of them are 6th and 7th rounders , you could not possibly be worse .
STEP 3 - SIGN ALL ROOKIES - The 2010 NFL salary cap will be in excess of 130 million dollars . That is more than enough to sign your 10 first rounders , 8 2nds, 19 3rds , 10 4ths , 6 5ths , 5 7ths , and all the free agent roster fillers you need .
Think about it Oakland , starting 22 rookies would be way more exiting than what you have now .
I would happily fire Lord Al the Cruel into the East Bay via catapault if I wasn't so sure he would rise from the primordial hellfire to haunt me forever.
ReplyDeleteSTEP 1: Shouldn't be a problem, they seem to be working on that now.
STEP 2: Could be tricky as it seems there is some league manadate that stipulates that the Raiders can only trade with the Patriots. I would argue that simply cutting all the guys you can't trade would be just as good.
STEP 3: I like it but you need to keep Justin Fargas around. What is more proper than Huggy Jr. in Oakland. PREDICTION! Starting Oakland QB in 2010 . . . . . . . wait for it . . . . . . Greg Paulus! Ahhhh!
BIG AL IS JUST NOT INTO SHARING OR CONFLICT RESOLUTION.......
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