Well then , the first round of the 2010 NFL draft just ended . For the first time ever it was held in prime time on a Thursday night. Something that I must say I did not approve of at all. Yet I would be remiss if I did not give the NFL , ESPN , and the NFL Network their due accolades for convincing me otherwise.
Over the years the NFL draft has always been an interesting thing to watch on my second T.V. Never something that would dominate my sports interest for any amount of time. Yet you always want to see who goes first, and then top 10, and then after that you really only want to see what your team is doing. This year however it's been a little different.
The absolute and total commercial saturation and draft hype put forth by the NFL and the surrounding media was truly a force of nature. During the last two months I have felt as if my conscious self was floating above my body as i watched my subconscious be thoroughly brainwashed. By the time the Draft started tonight I had become a drooling , twitching , NFL sycophant.
Never before have I been so completely engrossed in the draft. So well done NFL ! It turns out that I was powerless in the face your awesome media hype. Now , lets get to the action shall we ?
With the first pick the St. Louis Rams did the right thing taking Sam Bradford. I thought they should have taken Ndamukong Suh to go along with Leonard Little and Jake Long to create an all star D-line . They would stink for another year but Sam Bradford isn't going to change that in one season so why not ? This is the NFL though , and they do need a QB badly so ,well done I guess.
For once in their lives the Oakland Raiders resisted the urge to complicate themselves further and made a solid pick at number eight. Linebacker Rolando McClain out of Alabama is a stud. He should cover a lot of ground for the Raider Defense and should make some plays.
The Buffalo Bills surprised me a little with the 9th pick . Hardly even letting Commissioner Goodel finish speaking before they snatched up Clemson Tiger and speed burner C.J. Spiller. Despite the fact that they already have two good backs in the stable. I like the pick though . Spiller is cut in the mold of a Chris Johnson and it's no secret the Bills would like to part ways with troubled halfback Marshawn Lynch. Bills need a Quarterback badly but it would have been awful tough to pass on Spiller. Good job Buffalo.
Soon after that the Jaguars picked up a Defensive Tackle . For some reason. Which brings us to the San Francisco 49ers . With two first round picks this year the Niners moved up two spots to 13 by swapping with Denver and proceeded to get brilliant. The 49ers used the 11th and 17th picks of the first round to get a 6 foot 5 , 325 pound left tackle , and then a 6 foot 5 315 pound left guard. Both are pretty nimble too.
So I feel confident that I could call plays for the Niners next year . How about Frank Gore to the left ? Then I think we'll go .....Frank Gore to the left. When we are done with that ....how about some more Frank Gore left ? If you ask the 49ers were the big winners on day one. They just locked up Alex Smith's blindside for the next 6 years at least. Brilliant.
My beloved Green Bay Packers made a first round pick I actually approve of. FOR ONCE ! With the majority of their offensive line getting old and injury prone they drafted an Offensive Tackle out of Iowa named Bryan Baluga. If that's not the perfect name for an O-Lineman then I don't know what is .
If the 49ers didn't have the best day today then in my humble opinion the Detroit Lions did. After picking up Suh with the second pick they eventually traded back into the first round to grab a stellar speed back out of California named Jahvid Best . The only knock on Best is one truly horrifying concussion suffered while scoring a touchdown in his senior season. Other than that the Lions did great. Way to shake off the Matt Millen curse Detroit , you all should be fun to watch this year.
Last but not least we have the Denver Broncos. Uhm..................Wow. That was some day one Josh McDaniels. In line for the 11th pick Mr. McDaniels and company swapped down 2 spots with frisco , and then traded THAT pick with the Eagles to move further down the board to 24th.
Now at this point it was clear to me that McDaniels was doing his best Bill Bellicheck impression and was about ready to trade right out of the first round all together. I live in Colorado , and I could literally feel the collective rage of Bronco fans state wide boiling over. You alienate our stud QB , then you ditch our best offensive threat ? Then you trade our fan favourite Peyton Hillis for Brady freakin Quinn ? And now you aren't even going to give us the satisfaction of an exiting first round pick ??
I could literally hear the sound of cars being overturned in Denver. By literally of course I mean Figuratively. But still it was going badly by all accounts . Then , inexplicably , the Broncos traded up 2 spots with Patriots ( coincidence ? ) to take a Wide Receiver NOT named Dez Bryant !! In fact they went so far as to draft a wide receiver from Georgia Tech , a program that runs a triple option offense !!!
Curious to say the least , but just when Bronco fans were ready to riot the McDingus traded back up into the first round to select one Timothy Tebow from the university of Florida .
In a word ....................WOW ! I could not have seen that coming if I was playing Jenga with Pat Bowlen himself . What on Earth was that about ?? Tebow ? In round one ? If this works , and he becomes the MVP some day then McDaniels will go down in history as the smartest man ever.
Until then however , Bronco fan will be left wondering what happened to their once proud ( or at least competitive ) squad.
I however have been inspired by this pick. Hey Timmy ! I'm going long ! Throw me a dream bro !!!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Math is Hard........by the Denver Broncos
Ok. I have never professed to be completely qualified to run a real life N.F.L. football team. Although if I did , I have no doubts that my quadruple Tight End backfield would dominate the league for years to come. At any rate the N.F.L. off season is always interesting but it's not always quite so confounding as it is this year .
Understandably teams don't tell us everything , and would always have us believe that they do the things they do for all the right reasons. Not a one of us fans believes it for a second but we play the game anyway because we are fans and have nothing else to do in the off season. Or the regular season for that matter. So we read our news papers , our Internet sites and our sports blogs. We research the stats , the trends , and prognostications all in the hopes of figuring out just what the heck our favorite teams are up to .
For the most part a hard core fan can always find an upside to the crazy moves his beloved squad makes and still muster up some hope for the upcoming season. After all in 1987 when the Tigers traded John Smoltz ( future hall of famer ) to the Braves , they did get Doyle Alexander in return . For all of 3 sub par seasons. I'm sure he looked great in his retirement slippers though. Anyway my point is this . Sometimes teams just have to cut a guy loose no matter how good he is so that everybody can take a deep breath and just move on.
It's cordially known as Addition by Subtraction , and in a lot of situations it makes perfect sense. Point in case ? Cowboys drop T.O. and win a playoff game for the first time in a decade. Bam ! Enough said.
With this in mind though we begin to ponder the Denver Broncos. Are they practicing this A by S math ? Or is this something else entirely because it looks to me like the Broncos are just going for Subtraction . By Multiplication.
On December 31st 2008 they fired Head Coach Mike Shanahan. ( presumably to ruin his New Years Eve Party ) To bring in an unproven rookie head coach. Lest we forget so quickly that good old M. Shanny won back to back Superbowl's , went 138-96 ( 60.71% ) in the regular season , 8-5 (61.50%) in the playoffs , and basically produced the leagues best running game for over a decade with about 12 different backs.
Oh and lets not forget that he made a practice of hammering the Raiders, ( 21-7 i believe) not to bad eh Bronco fan ?
Now , on the heels of that brilliance , the Broncos new head man ( Josh McDaniels ) decided it would be best to hit the ground running and " towel snap " the franchise QB's pride. Well it worked , that's for sure . Jay Cutler cried a river so big he was able to grab a tackling dummy and float all the way to Chicago. The trade was inevitable at that point.
That seems like it would have been just about enough subtraction right ? Where is the addition that was mentioned earlier ? Sorry Bronco fan , we got just a little more subtraction for you . We are going to take our best offensive player and give him to Miami for some draft picks. He's just not worth paying any big money . He only caught 307 passes for over 4000 yards and 23 TDs in the last 3 years . Clearly we don't need or want all of that noise !
Oh and on top of that , we know how much you all love Peyton Hillis. He's gritty , he's gutty , he's fearless and he will do anything you ask of him on the football field. Not to mention he's pretty good little running back who seems to almost always find a way to make something positive happen. So we are just going to go ahead and not play most of the year and then run him out of town.
If you listen closely you can hear Denver Bronco fans nationwide muttering under they're breath. How is this all supposed to help ? Weren't we in the Superbowl not that long ago ? What did we get out of all these ridiculous moves ?
WAIT FOR IT ........................
WAIT FOR IT .........................
Understandably teams don't tell us everything , and would always have us believe that they do the things they do for all the right reasons. Not a one of us fans believes it for a second but we play the game anyway because we are fans and have nothing else to do in the off season. Or the regular season for that matter. So we read our news papers , our Internet sites and our sports blogs. We research the stats , the trends , and prognostications all in the hopes of figuring out just what the heck our favorite teams are up to .
For the most part a hard core fan can always find an upside to the crazy moves his beloved squad makes and still muster up some hope for the upcoming season. After all in 1987 when the Tigers traded John Smoltz ( future hall of famer ) to the Braves , they did get Doyle Alexander in return . For all of 3 sub par seasons. I'm sure he looked great in his retirement slippers though. Anyway my point is this . Sometimes teams just have to cut a guy loose no matter how good he is so that everybody can take a deep breath and just move on.
It's cordially known as Addition by Subtraction , and in a lot of situations it makes perfect sense. Point in case ? Cowboys drop T.O. and win a playoff game for the first time in a decade. Bam ! Enough said.
With this in mind though we begin to ponder the Denver Broncos. Are they practicing this A by S math ? Or is this something else entirely because it looks to me like the Broncos are just going for Subtraction . By Multiplication.
On December 31st 2008 they fired Head Coach Mike Shanahan. ( presumably to ruin his New Years Eve Party ) To bring in an unproven rookie head coach. Lest we forget so quickly that good old M. Shanny won back to back Superbowl's , went 138-96 ( 60.71% ) in the regular season , 8-5 (61.50%) in the playoffs , and basically produced the leagues best running game for over a decade with about 12 different backs.
Oh and lets not forget that he made a practice of hammering the Raiders, ( 21-7 i believe) not to bad eh Bronco fan ?
Now , on the heels of that brilliance , the Broncos new head man ( Josh McDaniels ) decided it would be best to hit the ground running and " towel snap " the franchise QB's pride. Well it worked , that's for sure . Jay Cutler cried a river so big he was able to grab a tackling dummy and float all the way to Chicago. The trade was inevitable at that point.
That seems like it would have been just about enough subtraction right ? Where is the addition that was mentioned earlier ? Sorry Bronco fan , we got just a little more subtraction for you . We are going to take our best offensive player and give him to Miami for some draft picks. He's just not worth paying any big money . He only caught 307 passes for over 4000 yards and 23 TDs in the last 3 years . Clearly we don't need or want all of that noise !
Oh and on top of that , we know how much you all love Peyton Hillis. He's gritty , he's gutty , he's fearless and he will do anything you ask of him on the football field. Not to mention he's pretty good little running back who seems to almost always find a way to make something positive happen. So we are just going to go ahead and not play most of the year and then run him out of town.
If you listen closely you can hear Denver Bronco fans nationwide muttering under they're breath. How is this all supposed to help ? Weren't we in the Superbowl not that long ago ? What did we get out of all these ridiculous moves ?
WAIT FOR IT ........................
WAIT FOR IT .........................
THIS GUY !!!!!!!
Good job Denver , way to suck the life out of your fan base.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
NFC EAST.............A harsh reality
So , it's 2010 and you are an NFL football team. That's great right ? Sure it is . There is just one catch. You are in the NFC East Division. Ohhhh boogers.
Boogers is right. I hope you didn't have any plans actually surviving the upcoming season. If you do , you had better bring your big boy cleats and wear a hard hat at all times. Last year the Cowboys and Eagles both won 11 games and the Giants were no slouch at 8-8 . Only Washington failed to represent last year posting a lethargic 4-12 record.
I wouldn't count on that happening again though. The skins snagged head coach and offensive guru M.E. Shanahan , along with accomplished lady slapper Larry Johnson. So don't look for any of the teams in the East to do anything other than smack you square in the mouth for 4 quarters every single week.
Who's going to finish first ? Hard to say. Lets listen in on the Eagles upper management as they work they're way through the offf season.
*******DATELINE PHILADELPHIA , PA*******
Hey guys I got an idea , lets stop all these playoff shenanigans and get down to the business of finishing last. Ok , but how ? Well here's how i see it . Dallas and the Giants are already good for 10 wins every year right ? Right. So if we can get Washington up to 10 wins as well then there simply will not be any more wins to go around . We will finish 6 and 10 for sure !!
Oh good thinking genius. Just one problem. Yes ? How on God's green earth do you plan on getting the lowly Redskins to win 10 games ? Well uhm , we could hope they improve themselves from the draft . Nope , no good. Free agency ? Nope. Come on now , it's the Redskins. They overpay 3 free agents every year and somehow seem to get worse.
Hmmmmm, wait ! I got it ! Lets give them our hall of fame quarterback ! What ? Ya , ya , think about it . We give them Donovan , then we run out a guy( Kevin Kolb ) who has only ever played in 2 NFL games ! It will make them way better and us way worse overnight !
By god sir that is brilliant. Add in the fact that Mike Vick is our unhappy backup and we are bound for disaster. Finally we can just get on a plane to Hawaii as soon as the season ends without all this time consuming playoff malarkey. Lets get this thing done !
*********************************************************************
Oh my , that is not what we expected to hear at all was it ? Who knew that a storied franchise like the Eagles would be trying to self destruct on purpose ? It's almost like they have some other motive here and they are just trying to distract the fans so they run Andy Reid out of town for no good reason .
Nahhhh , that's ridiculous.
Hey what's going on over there ?
GASP !!! NO WAY !!!
Boogers is right. I hope you didn't have any plans actually surviving the upcoming season. If you do , you had better bring your big boy cleats and wear a hard hat at all times. Last year the Cowboys and Eagles both won 11 games and the Giants were no slouch at 8-8 . Only Washington failed to represent last year posting a lethargic 4-12 record.
I wouldn't count on that happening again though. The skins snagged head coach and offensive guru M.E. Shanahan , along with accomplished lady slapper Larry Johnson. So don't look for any of the teams in the East to do anything other than smack you square in the mouth for 4 quarters every single week.
Who's going to finish first ? Hard to say. Lets listen in on the Eagles upper management as they work they're way through the offf season.
*******DATELINE PHILADELPHIA , PA*******
INSIDE THE EAGLES WAR ROOM
Hey guys I got an idea , lets stop all these playoff shenanigans and get down to the business of finishing last. Ok , but how ? Well here's how i see it . Dallas and the Giants are already good for 10 wins every year right ? Right. So if we can get Washington up to 10 wins as well then there simply will not be any more wins to go around . We will finish 6 and 10 for sure !!
Oh good thinking genius. Just one problem. Yes ? How on God's green earth do you plan on getting the lowly Redskins to win 10 games ? Well uhm , we could hope they improve themselves from the draft . Nope , no good. Free agency ? Nope. Come on now , it's the Redskins. They overpay 3 free agents every year and somehow seem to get worse.
Hmmmmm, wait ! I got it ! Lets give them our hall of fame quarterback ! What ? Ya , ya , think about it . We give them Donovan , then we run out a guy( Kevin Kolb ) who has only ever played in 2 NFL games ! It will make them way better and us way worse overnight !
By god sir that is brilliant. Add in the fact that Mike Vick is our unhappy backup and we are bound for disaster. Finally we can just get on a plane to Hawaii as soon as the season ends without all this time consuming playoff malarkey. Lets get this thing done !
*********************************************************************
Oh my , that is not what we expected to hear at all was it ? Who knew that a storied franchise like the Eagles would be trying to self destruct on purpose ? It's almost like they have some other motive here and they are just trying to distract the fans so they run Andy Reid out of town for no good reason .
Nahhhh , that's ridiculous.
Hey what's going on over there ?
GASP !!! NO WAY !!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Employee disclaimer
THE FOLLOWING CLIP IS RATED “R” IT INCLUDES HARSH LANGUAGE AND MAY PERPETRATE HURT FEELINGS .
BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW YOU HERE BY AGREE TO ABSOLVE
PETER D. MCGARRY
OF ANY AND ALL RESPONSIBILITIES REGARDING THE NATURE AND BOUNDRIES OF THE WEEKLY UPDATE .
THE WEEKLY UPDATE IS INTENTED BY DECREE OF THE SPORTS FANATIC OWNERSHIP AND UPPER MANAGEMENT TO BE A TASTEFULL , RESPECTFULL , AND PROFESSIONAL DOCUMENT AT ALL TIMES.
THERE FOR , I SUBMIT , THAT BY CLICKING ON THE LINK PROVIDED BELOW YOU HERE BY WAIVE YOUR GOD GIVIN RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED BY IT .
ENJOY MY MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW YOU HERE BY AGREE TO ABSOLVE
PETER D. MCGARRY
OF ANY AND ALL RESPONSIBILITIES REGARDING THE NATURE AND BOUNDRIES OF THE WEEKLY UPDATE .
THE WEEKLY UPDATE IS INTENTED BY DECREE OF THE SPORTS FANATIC OWNERSHIP AND UPPER MANAGEMENT TO BE A TASTEFULL , RESPECTFULL , AND PROFESSIONAL DOCUMENT AT ALL TIMES.
THERE FOR , I SUBMIT , THAT BY CLICKING ON THE LINK PROVIDED BELOW YOU HERE BY WAIVE YOUR GOD GIVIN RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED BY IT .
ENJOY MY MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
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