Saturday, April 10, 2010

NFC EAST.............A harsh reality

So , it's 2010 and you are an NFL football team. That's great right ? Sure it is . There is just one catch. You are in the NFC East Division. Ohhhh boogers.

Boogers is right. I hope you didn't have any plans actually surviving the upcoming season. If you do , you had better bring your big boy cleats and wear a hard hat at all times. Last year the Cowboys and Eagles both won 11 games and the Giants were no slouch at 8-8 . Only Washington failed to represent last year posting a lethargic 4-12 record.

I wouldn't count on that happening again though. The skins snagged head coach and offensive guru M.E. Shanahan , along with accomplished lady slapper Larry Johnson. So don't look for any of the teams in the East to do anything other than smack you square in the mouth for 4 quarters every single week.

Who's going to finish first ? Hard to say. Lets listen in on the Eagles upper management as they work they're way through the offf season.

*******DATELINE PHILADELPHIA , PA*******

INSIDE THE EAGLES WAR ROOM

Hey guys I got an idea , lets stop all these playoff shenanigans and get down to the business of finishing last. Ok , but how ? Well here's how i see it . Dallas and the Giants are already good for 10 wins every year right ? Right. So if we can get Washington up to 10 wins as well then there simply will not be any more wins to go around . We will finish 6 and 10 for sure !!

Oh good thinking genius. Just one problem. Yes ? How on God's green earth do you plan on getting the lowly Redskins to win 10 games ? Well uhm , we could hope they improve themselves from the draft . Nope , no good. Free agency ? Nope. Come on now , it's the Redskins. They overpay 3 free agents every year and somehow seem to get worse.

Hmmmmm, wait ! I got it ! Lets give them our hall of fame quarterback ! What ? Ya , ya , think about it . We give them Donovan , then we run out a guy( Kevin Kolb ) who has only ever played in 2 NFL games ! It will make them way better and us way worse overnight !

By god sir that is brilliant. Add in the fact that Mike Vick is our unhappy backup and we are bound for disaster. Finally we can just get on a plane to Hawaii as soon as the season ends without all this time consuming playoff malarkey. Lets get this thing done !

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Oh my , that is not what we expected to hear at all was it ? Who knew that a storied franchise like the Eagles would be trying to self destruct on purpose ? It's almost like they have some other motive here and they are just trying to distract the fans so they run Andy Reid out of town for no good reason .

Nahhhh , that's ridiculous.

Hey what's going on over there ?




GASP !!! NO WAY !!!

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