Starswipe Sadness

I have always known that television is a wonderful thing but i never realized how addicted to it I was . Until now .



There is no question that I've been addicted to the magic of television for some time now . Like many of you I wake up and fire the old vision box up . Check the weather , peep the morning news . You know , just getting a little smarter before we leave house right ? Right . Then it's off to work where they have no T.V.'s and life seems sooo dull . That's only like 10 hours though and eventually you get to go back home where life is somewhat more civilized . After all a 1500 square foot room sucks ass . Until you add 4 T.V.'s . Now you have a working space . Now you have drinkability . NOW ! You have peace of mind .



So now you have been all day at work without it and it's time to catch up . You've got sports news , world news , comedy central , and THE HISTORY CHANNEL . Problem is that you can only watch 2 maybe 3 T.V.'s at once and the commercials are just brutal . So you have to channel flip of course , but every show is on the same basic time line and flipping channels becomes a game of which commercial will kill me first . So we do the 90 second "recall last " parade and try to deal .



I find that to be acceptable behavior , but what I just did is ridiculous . I was watching a DVD of a sitcom and I just caught myself trying to flip channels during a star swipe . Yeah . The .666 percent of a second that it takes for one scene to switch to another . I couldn't wait apparently . I actually hit the recall button during a scene transition . What exactly was I hoping for ? The greatest nanosecond in television history ? Perhaps a perfectly timed bit of subliminal messaging ? Logically I know that I am not even capable of switching out of a show and back in the time it takes for a star swipe but I did it anyway . Troubling to say the least . Then again how much logic does it take to watch two T.V.s in the first place ?

Needless to say I was astounded at my own visual gluttony . Old timers used to refer to the television as the boob tube for it's propensity to relegate it's viewers into mindless boobs . It seems I have been officially relegated . Slave to the tiny buttons on my remote . Addicted to instant mass media gratification . But I'm not about to try and live without it .

So if a TV really is a quote " boob tube " then I am a giant boob . Awesome .

This has been a Ragu Rewind .