Hail the Benevolent 200

So , you have been hired as one of the two hundred men and women that will manage the Twitter account of one Hugo Rafael Chavez. I scarcely know where to start.

The often misunderstood Venezuelan dictator joined the Twitter nation on April 27th , our year of The Lord 2010 , in what appears to be a deft counter stroke to the emoticon laden insults of his enemies. In less than a month El Presidente Superior's account has skyrocketed top the top of the "followers" charts with 237,000 members. Quickly besting the lone television station (Globovision, 234,000) that still dares voice an opposition to his reign.

See the full story from The Associated Press here.

It should not be surprising that the leader of a country would draw some followers but his meteoric rise to 237,00 followers in a matter of weeks is a bit perplexing. Perhaps it has something to do with the Twitter handle he has chosen. How does "chavezcandanga" strike you ? Personally it scares the crap-spackle right out me. Chavezcandanga ??? Really ? How exactly do you break that down ?

Is it chavez-can-DANGA ? As if he is fully equipped to quote "danga" all over your freedom loving ass , or does it read chavez-CAND-anga ? That would imply that Mr C. has enough "anga" to package it and trade it to the Russians for self esteem pills. Was "hugorocksyourbody" taken already, or am I simply showing off my lack of understanding in regard to popular Venezuelan lexicon ?

Either way it makes me nervous. It promotes a frightening mental image of an over stimulated dictator as he ruthlessly whips his army of tweet-drones (200 strong) into battle.

tweet the deets cavrone !!!!!

Scary, to say the least. Yet H.C.-aka-Big Fluffy, would have us believe that he only hired these two hundred lost souls to deal with the some 54,000 messages his account has received from supporters , critics, and those who simply seek the wisdom that is "chavezcandanga". As well as the physical manifestations of Sean Penn's need to belong.

However , as usual , some of Mr. Chavezs's recent comments on the matter leave more than a little to unravel. When asked why he felt the need to hire what I can only assume is an unprecedented two hundred person Tweet staff , Big Fluffy was heard to say , " I'm creating a team due to the avalanche of requests , and some grievances." .........Indeed sir. Way to toss that last one in there. I'm guessing there are more than "some" grievances involved here.

Like wise he spared a moment to urge supporters to join the cause as he likened Twitter to a " weapon that also needs to be used by the revolution" . Of course he did. After all what good is a thing if it is not judged by it's usefulness as a weapon ? Now I expect this sort of response from this kind of man, but when pressed on the subject , in relation to the many disparaging remarks his account has thus far received El Presidente produced this scholarly gem.

"Some criticise me, others insult me . I don't care. It's a form of contact with the world."

"you heard me"

Uh yes , how very circular of you sir. Once again I am overwhelmed by the simplicity of your logic. How exactly has the world at large survived for so long without a theologian such as yourself ? Leave it to Mount Hugo to wrap an insistent statement in a blanket of absurdity. By this logic the world of Twitter is (as a disconnected athlete would say) what it is. Yet at the same time adding a mere ten or twenty souls to the staff to handle it is as absurd as a corporation making a profit.

By the way thanks again President Obama for that little blooming flower of wisdom. Now is not the time to make profits ? Heaven forbid an American company would make any money in your economy. After all it's a well known fact that the people who actually make money never dump any of it back into the economy. They only donate it to YOUR campaign , or hoard it like dragons.

HANDS OFF ! I'm a union delegate.

At any rate I feel more than a little nervous for the two hundred " aides" to Mr. Chavez's Twitter account. I know it may be tough to find work in your country, especially with that thirty plus percent inflation rate you are striving against, but is this job really worth it ? Are you one hundred percent sure that you are all not destined to become human sacrifices in an ill fated attempt to reanimate Che ?

You should think about that. Lord knows I will.