As you may or may not know , I have recently created my very own movie rating scale. In the interest of fairness I will not be rating movies from memory. (no , not even mine) So you will no doubt see many movies that are obviously old . Get over it. This is why the scale will be fun. Rehashing old classics as well as historic loads of cinematic crap.
and so , thanks to NetFlix I give you some thoughts . And some scores of course.
WANTED = 4.75 = SWEET !!!
Up first is WANTED staring Angelina Jolie , Morgan Freeman and some young dueschington named ....................well I think it was dueschington. Anyway Jolie looks good despite only spending about one nano second in the buff. Freeman of course is his usual mix of old timey wisdom and underlying evil. But despite the fact that they can all shoot bullets around a corner from the top of moving train and pull off dastardly sniper head shots from across town , this movie was fairly enjoyable.
It was outrageous pretty much from the start and in doing so it removes most of those "that could never happen" responses and allowed you to just say " CAAAA-BLAMMO!! " or whatever you say when somebodies face explodes in slow motion. I say cablamo.
I enjoyed the plot , as well as the 1000-rat army explosion and the betrayal that got young dueshington to kill his own father was nice . That was good for 3 of the 5 major stars. When it comes to bonus stars however I was a little stingy. Awarding only 1 3/4 stars. One for the fight scenes , a half for gruesome deaths and a quarter for the super hot actress.
There was a sex scene , but I did not deem it gratuitous enough to earn a star.
EXTRACT = 1.50 = MAKING OUT IN THE BACK OF THE THEATER BAD
Then we ran into a real gem by the name of EXTRACT. Wow this flick put the bottom end of my new scale to the test in a hurry. This surprised me a little considering how much I love Mila Kunis . AND I DO ! Seriously , what's not to love ? She's from Siberia , she lied about her age to get her first acting job and she readily admits that she loves to play the role of a total bitch. Oh yeah and there is also this.................
beauty is in the eyes............of my face
But alas , despite my undying love for Mila , this movie was hard pressed to score a point at all. Being as generous as I could I awarded one star for comedy ( when dude got his left nut blown off) and a quarter star for HOT ACTRESS as well as a quarter star for a mullet. That was it I'm afraid. I kind of can not believe how a movie that I didn't hate at all scored so low. It's just that everything was so mediocre. Not even a side boob.
It was a combination of yawns and half assed dirty jokes. Weak , but not insultingly so . Wish I could have scored it higher.
More to come as Ragu Rewinds The Flicks.
Ragu Rewinds the Flicks!!!! That official tops Mountain Valley and I hate you for it! That being said...I was setting up my movie itenerary a year ago and Extract was passed up on due to time constraints. At the time I felt slighted and agitated (that was 2 adjitives in one sentence for those counting!), but after your rewind I am proud to say it was passed up.
ReplyDeleteAs for Wanted, I've only seen a really bad bootleg copy and wish it were a better copy as I have now been informed of nutity, as short lived as it may be.
BTW...If you want some young Angelina boob, check out Pushing Tin. You have to wait a little bit for it, but well worth the wait. Plus you get a pretty good John Cusack and Billy Bob dynamic.