WEEK 9 PICKS

ATLANTA OVER WASHINGTON AND ATL - 10.5
CHICAGO OVER ARIZONA AND CHI - 3.5
BALTIMORE OVER CINNCINNATI AND BALT - 2.5
HOUSTON OVER INDIANAPOLIS AND HOU + 9.5
NEW ENGLAND OVER MIAMI AND MIA + 10.5
GREEN BAY OVER TAMPA BAY AND T.B. +10.5
JACKSONVILLE OVER KANSAS CITY AND JACK - 6.5
SEATTLE OVER DETROIT AND SEA - 10.5
CAROLINA OVER NEW ORLEANS AND CAR + 14.5
SAN DIEGO OVER GIANTS AND S.D. + 4.5
TENNESEE OVER SAN FRANCISCO AND TENN + 4.5
PHILIDELPHIA OVER DALLAS AND PHILI - 3.5

LAST WEEK

NFL WEEK 8 POWER

1 SAINTS 7 – 0-----E------SIMPLY OUTSTANDING
2 COLTS 7 – 0------E------TOUGH WIN OVER 49ERS
3 VIKINGS 7 – 1-----UP1----VIKINGS LOOK AWESOME
4 BRONCOS 6 – 1-----DN1----RAVENS PROVIDE DOSE OF REALITY
5 PATRIOTS5 – 2------E-----DID NOT PLAY
6 BENGALS 5 – 2------E-----DID NOT PLAY
7 STEELERS5 – 2------E-----DID NOT PLAY
8 BALT 4 – 3-----UP1-----TOOK DOWN UNDEFEATED BRONCOS
9 EAGLES 5 – 2-----UP3-----WHIPPED GIANTS
10 FALCONS 4 – 3------E-----LOST TO THE BEST
11 GIANTS 5 – 3-----DN3-----GOT CRUSHEDBY PHILI
12 COWBOYS 5 – 2-----UP1----STARTING TO COME AROUND NOW
13 CARDINALS4 – 3-----DN2-----HAMMERED BY CAROLINA ??
14 CHARGERS4 – 3-----UP2-----BEAT RAIDERS
15 TEXANS 5 – 3-----UP2-----3 WINS IN A ROW NOW
16 JETS 4 – 4-----DN2-----CANT BEAT DOLPHINS
17 PACKERS 4 – 3-----DN2-----CANT BEAT VIKINGS
18 49ERS 3 – 4------E-----TOUGH LOSS TO COLTS
19 BEARS 4 – 3------E------BEAT BROWNS
20 DOLPHINS3 – 4------E------LOVE THAT RUNNING GAME
21 PANTHERS3 – 4-----UP3-----LOOKED LIKE PANTHERS FOR ONCE
22 JAGUARS 3 – 4-----DN1-----LOST TO WINLESS TITANS
23 SEAHAWKS2 – 5-----DN1-----LOST TO COWBOYS
24 BILLS 3 – 5-----DN1-----LOST TO TEXANS
25 CHIEFS 1 – 6------E------DID NOT PLAY
26 REDSKINS2 – 5------E------DID NOT PLAY
27 TITANS 1 – 6-----UP3-----FINALLY GET A WIN
28 RAIDERS 2 – 5-----DN1-----LOST TO CHARGERS
29 RAMS 1 – 7-----UP3-----GET FIRST WIN
30 LIONS 1 – 6-----DN1-----LOST TO WINLESS RAMS
31 BROWNS 1 – 7-----DN2-----LOST TO BEARS
32 BUCCS 0 – 7------E------DID NOT PLAY

NFL POWER RANKINGS AFTER WEEK 7

1 SAINTS 6 – 0-----UP2----ONE WORD ...WOW
2 COLTS 6 – 0-----DN1----SMASHED RAMS BUT FALL TO SAINTS
3 BRONCOS 6 – 0-----UP1----DID NOT PLAY
4 VIKINGS 6 – 1-----DN2----WERE POISED TO BEAT PITT IN PITT
5 PATRIOTS5 – 2-------E------HOUSED TAMPA IN LONDON
6 BENGALS 5 – 2-----UP3----ABSOLUTELY CRUSHED THE BEARS
7 STEELERS5 – 2-----UP3----GOT A WIN VS A GREAT TEAM
8 GIANTS 5 – 2-----DN2----STARTING TO LOOK A LITTLE SHAKY
9 BALT 3 – 3-----DN1-----DID NOT PLAY
10 FALCONS 4 – 2-----DN3-----LOST TO THE BOYS
11 CARDINALS4 – 2-----UP1-----LOOKED GOOD OVER GIANTS
12 EAGLES 4 – 2-----UP2----BEAT UP ON SKINS
13 COWBOYS 4 – 2-----UP4----NICE WIN OVER FALCONS
14 JETS 4 – 3-----UP1----SHUT OUT RAIDERS
15 PACKERS 4 – 2-----UP4----ANOTHER WIN OVER A BAD TEAM
16 CHARGERS3 – 3-------E------WHIPPED CHEIFS
17 TEXANS 4 – 3-----UP3----2 GAME WIN STREAK
18 49ERS 3 – 3-----DN7----QB CHANGE NOT A GOOD SIGN
19 BEARS 3 – 3-----DN6----EMBARRASED BY BENGALS
20 DOLPHINS2 – 4-----DN2----BLEW A BIG LEAD TO SAINTS
21 JAGUARS 3 – 3-------E------DID NOT PLAY
22 SEAHAWKS2 – 4-------E------DID NOT PLAY
23 BILLS 3 – 4-----UP2----BEAT PANTHERS
24 PANTHERS2 – 4-----DN1----LOST TO BILLS
25 CHIEFS 1 – 6-----DN1----CRUSHED BY SD
26 REDSKINS2 – 5-----UP1----LOST TO EAGLES
27 RAIDERS 2 – 5-----DN1----DIDN'T EVEN SCORE VS JETS
28 LIONS 1 – 5------E-------DID NOT PLAY
29 BROWNS 1 – 6------E-------LOST TO PACKERS
30 TITANS 0 – 6------E-------DID NOT PLAY
31 BUCCS 0 – 7------E-------LONDON NO HELP V PATS
32 RAMS 0 – 7------E-------NO CHANCE VS COLTS

NFL POWER RANKINGS AFTER WEEK 6

1 COLTS 5 – 0-----UP1-----TAKE OVER THE TOP SPOT BY DEFAULT
2 VIKINGS 6 – 0-----UP1-----BIG WIN OVER RAVENS
3 SAINTS 5 – 0-----UP2-----DESTROYED THE 1ST RANKED PASS DEFENDING GIANTS
4 BRONCOS 6 – 0-----E-------GREAT WIN OVER SD BUT ARE WORST OF THE BEST
5 PATRIOTS4 – 2-----UP3-----WOW SOME PERFORMANCE OVER TITANS IN THE SNOW
6 GIANTS 5 – 1-----DN5-----UGLY LOSS TO AWESOME SAINTS
7 FALCONS 4 – 1-----DN1-----LOST A SPOT DESPITE WIN OVER BEARS
8 BALT 3 – 3-----UP1-----DO NOT BE FOOLED BY 3-3 THESE GUYS ARE GOOD
9 BENGALS 4 – 2-----DN2--=--HIT QUITE A SNAG VS TEXANS
10 STEELERS4 – 2-----UP3---=-BACK ON TRACK AGAINST BROWNS
11 49ERS 3 – 2------E------DID NOT PLAY
12 CARDINALS3 – 2----UP3----NICE WIN OVER SEAHAWKS
13 BEARS 3 – 2-----UP1----GAIN A SPOT LOOSING TO ATLANTA
14 EAGLES 3 – 2-----DN2----LOST TO RAIDERS ? SHOULD HAVE DROPPED FARTHER
15 JETS 3 – 3-----DN5----THE SAN-CHISE IS LOOKING SHAKY
16 CHARGERS2 – 3-------E------TOUGH LOSS TO BRONCOS AT HOME
17 COWBOYS 3 – 2-------E------DID NOT PLAY
18 DOLPHINS2 – 3-------E------DID NOT PLAY
19 PACKERS 3 – 2-----UP1----SHUT OUT LIONS
20 TEXANS 3 – 3-----UP1----NICE WIN OVER BENGALS
21 JAGUARS 3 – 3-----UP1----NEEDED OVERTIME TO BEAT RAMS
22 SEAHAWKS2 – 4-----DN2----GOT HOUSED BY CARDINALS
23 PANTHERS2 – 3-------E------BEAT THE BUCS
24 CHIEFS 1 – 5-----UP4----FINALLY GET A WIN
25 BILLS 2 – 4-----UP4-----BEAT JETS , SOMEHOW
26 RAIDERS 2 – 4-----UP4----BEAT THE EAGLES ????
27 REDSKINS2 – 4-----DN3----GETTING FIRST DOWNS , NOT TDS VS LEAGUES WORST
28 LIONS 1 – 5-----DN1----SHUT OUT BY PACKERS , OUCH
29 BROWNS 1 – 5-----DN2-----QB IS IRRELEVANT
30 TITANS 0 – 6-----DN5-----THIS IS HARD TO WATCH
31 BUCCS 0 – 6-------E-------GOOD IDEA FIRING GRUDEN
32 RAMS 0 – 6-------E-------DONT YOU FEEL BAD FOR STEVEN JACKSON ?

NFL PICKS FOR WEEK # 7

Week six was again dissapointing as I struggled to come away 8 - 6 straight up and 7 - 7 against the spreads . That brings me down to 61 - 29 (68%) and 46 - 44 - 0 (51%). Here is how I see week 7 .

1.---GB--@--CLE--------------GB----------GB---(-7.5)
2.---SD--@--KC---------------SD----------SD---(-4.5)
3.---SF--@--HOU--------------HOU---------HOU--(-3.5)
4.--IND--@--STL--------------IND---------IND--(-13.5)
5.--MIN--@--PITT-------------PITT--------PITT-(-4.5)
6.---NE--@--TB---------------NE----------NE---(-14.5)
7.--BUF--@--CAR--------------CAR---------CAR--(-7.5)
8.--JET--@--OAK--------------JETS--------JETS--(-6.5)
9.--CHI--@--CINN-------------CHI---------CHI---+1.5
10.-ATL--@--DAL--------------ATL---------ATL---+3.5
11.--NO--@--MIA--------------NO----------NO----(-6.5)
12.-ARZ--@--GIA--------------GIA---------ARZ---+7.5
13.-PHI--@--WASH-------------PHI---------PHI---(-7.5)

I could fix the Raiders ...If Al would let me

O.K. Raider fans it's no secret that the man who brought you to greatness is the same man who is ruining your franchise . Big Al , always with his decrepit hands on the franchise . This man's refusal to let anyone else have even one iota of power has sent your team from a Superbowl loss in 2002 to the worst team in history since .

Now you may think that it will take decades to reverse the trend that Leasure Suit Al has created but I disagree . I could do it in three years . This is how .

Step 1-CONTINUE TO SUCK - at 1 - 4 this year is over . Make it a point to loose the rest of your games in an effort to go 1 - 15 and get the number 1 pick .( so long as Rams dont one up you ) I suggest starting J.Russel every game .

Step 2 -TRADE EVERBODY - and I mean everybody , like it was Madden 2003 . You already got the first pick in 2010 , now trade J.russel and your 3rd and 5th pick to the Rams for for their 1st and 3rd , thus getting rid of your biggest contract . Then trade D.McFadden and your 4th and 6th pick to the Browns for they're 1st rounder and 7th rounder . Now barring the unimaginable you have the first 3 picks in the 2010 draft .

Continue this way of thinking all the way down . Seymore for a 1st and 3rd , Asomgwauh for a 1st , 3rd , 4th , and 5th , trade your starters for mid-round picks , trade your scrubs for 5 to 7's . Do this until all of your current players are gone and you have 40 to 50 picks in the 2010 draft. It doesn't matter if 35 of them are 6th and 7th rounders , you could not possibly be worse .

STEP 3 - SIGN ALL ROOKIES - The 2010 NFL salary cap will be in excess of 130 million dollars . That is more than enough to sign your 10 first rounders , 8 2nds, 19 3rds , 10 4ths , 6 5ths , 5 7ths , and all the free agent roster fillers you need .

Think about it Oakland , starting 22 rookies would be way more exiting than what you have now .

NFL PICKS FOR WEEK 6

Well last couple of weeks have certainly been humbling , especially against the spread . Two consecutive sub 500 weeks have left me in the positive by the slimest of margins . 39 - 37 to be exact , and week 6 presents 4 or 5 games that should be coin flips ! Never the less we press on . Here we go .

1.---HOU--@--CINN---------HOU----------HOU----+4.5
2.---DET--@--G.B.---------G.B.---------DET----+13.5
3.---BALT-@--MINN---------BALT---------BALT---+2.5
4.---GIA--@--N.O.---------N.O.---------N.O.---(-3.5)
5.---CAR--@--T.B.---------CAR----------CAR----(-3.5)
6.---K.C.-@--WASH---------WASH---------K.C.---+6.5
7.---STL.-@--JACK---------JACK---------JACK---(-9.5)
8.---CLE--@--PITT---------PITT---------PITT---(-14.5)
9.---ARZ--@--SEA----------SEA----------SEA----(-2.5)
10.--PHI--@--OAK----------PHI----------PHI----(-14.5)
11.--BUFF-@--JETS---------JETS---------BUFF---+9.5
12.--TENN-@--N.E.---------N.E.---------TENN---+9.5
13.--CHI--@--ATL----------ATL----------ATL----(-3.5)
14.--DEN--@--S.D.---------S.D.---------S.D.---(-4.5)

LAST WEEK 9 - 5 AND 6 - 8
SEASON -53 - 23 AND 39 - 37

NFL POWER RANKINGS AFTER WEEK 5

Well I must say the Dnever Broncos have more than earned the spot i gave them this week . Holding the Patriots scoreless in the second half is more than impressive . Conversely the Buffalo Bills lost to a team that completed only 2 passes for 16 yards , if the Raiders,Buccs ,and Rams were not so god awfull they could have dropped to last on that alone .

1 GIANTS----- 5 – 0-------E-------KEEP DESTROYING BAD TEAMS
2 COLTS ------5 – 0 ------E-------5 300 YRD EFFORTS BY MANNING
3 VIKINGS ----5 – 0 -----UP1---HAMMERED HAPLESS RAMS
4 BRONCOS--- 5 – 0 ----UP3----OUTSTANDING WIN AGAINST PATRIOTS
5 SAINTS ------4 – 0 ----DN2----ONLY DROPPED CUZ THEY DIDN'T PLAY
6 FALCONS ----3 – 1 ----UP3----PUT THE WOOD TO UPTART 49ERS
7 BENGALS ----4 – 1 ----UP7----A WEEK 1 MIRACLE FROM BEING 5 – 0
8 PATRIOTS ---3 – 2 ----DN3----INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST
9 BALT ---------3 – 2 ----DN3----LOST 2 STRAIGHT IN FINAL MINUETS
10 JETS-------- 3 – 2 ----DN2----TOUGH LOSS VS DOLPHINS
11 49ERS------- 3 – 2 ----DN1----EXPOSED BY FALCONS BADLY
12 EAGLES----- 3 – 1 ----UP1---LOOKED MUCH BETTER WITH MCNABB BACK
13 STEELERS-- 3 – 2 ----DN2---JUST PLAYING DETROIT DROPS YOU SOME
14 BEARS ------3 – 1 ----DN1---DID NOT PLAY
15 CARDINALS 2 – 2 ---UP4----JUST DID BEAT HOUSTON
16 CHARGERS -2 – 2 ----E-------DID NOT PLAY, NEEDED THE BREAK TOO
17 COWBOYS-- 3 – 2-----E--------NEEDED O.T. TO SURVIVE CHEIFS
18 DOLPHINS -2 – 3 ----UP4----BEST RUNNING GAME IN FOOTBALL
19 SEAHAWKS 2 – 3 ----UP5---DESTROYED JAGS IN HASSELBACK'S RETURN
20 PACKERS --2 – 2 ----DN2---DID NOT PLAY , PROBABLY A GOOD THING
21 TEXANS ----2 – 3-----DN1---ALMOST MADE A GREAT COMEBACK AGAINST CARDS
22 JAGUARS --2 – 3 ----DN7---HOW DO YOU FIGURE THIS TEAM ??/
23 PANTHERS 1 – 3 ----UP3---GOT FIRST WIN VS SKINS
24 REDSKINS -2 – 3 ----DN3---NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY HERE
25 TITANS ----0 – 5-----DN2---IS THIS FOR REAL ???
26 LIONS ------1 – 4-----UP1---COMPETITVE IN LOSS TO PITT
27 BROWNS ---1 – 4 ----UP4---WON A GAME WITH A 0.0 QB RATING
28 CHIEFS -----0 – 5-----UP ----TOOK COWBOYS TO OT.
29 BILLS -------1 – 4 ----DN4---LOST TO A QB WHO COMPLETED 2 PASSES
30 RAIDERS ---1 – 4 ----DN2---J.RUSSEL HAS GOT TO GO . NOW !
31 BUCCS ------0 – 5------DN1---ROOKIE QB MADE SOME PLAYS
32 RAMS 0 – 5 -----E-------NEED R.LIMBAUGH WORSE THAN THEY THINK

NFL PICKS FOR WEEK # 5

Well week 4 turned out to be a dissaster for yours truly . 9 - 5 and 5 - 9 . Ouch . Lets fire up week 5.

(1)---CLE--@--BUFF----------BUFF----------CLE----+6
(2)---PITT-@--DET-----------PITT----------PITT---(-11)
(3)---DAL--@--K.C.----------DAL-----------DAL----(-9)
(4)---MINN-@--STL-----------MINN----------MINN---(-11)
(5)---OAK--@--GIA-----------GIA-----------GIA----(-15.5)
(6)---T.B.-@--PHIL----------PHIL----------T.B.---+15.5
(7)---WASH-@--CAR-----------CAR-----------CAR----(-4.5)
(8)---CINN-@--BALT----------BALT----------CINN---+9
(9)---ATL--@--S.F.----------ATL-----------ATL----+2.5
(10)--JACK-@--SEA-----------JACK----------JACK---+1.5
(11)--HOU--@--ARZ-----------HOU-----------HOU----+5.5
(12)--N.E.-@--DEN-----------N.E.----------N.E.---(-3)
(13)--IND--@--TENN----------IND-----------TENN---+4.5
(14)--JETS-@--MIA-----------MIA-----------MIA----+2.5

LAST WEEK 9 - 5 STRAIGHT UP AND 5- 9 AGAINST THE SPREAD
OVERALL-- 44 - 18 (71%) AND 33 - 29 - 0 (53%)

NFL POWER RANKINGS FOR WEEK 4

Here you go sports fans , this is how I rank the teams after the week 4 action .

#----TEAM-----RECORD---MOVE----STORY

1.--GIANTS------4 – 0 --E------KEEP WINNING , CAN'T MOVE THEM
2.--COLTS-------4 – 0---E------LIKE WISE , THEY JUST WIN
3.--SAINTS------4 – 0 --UP 1---SAINTS ARE FOR REAL
4.--VIKINGS-----4 – 0 --UP 2 --SO ARE THE VIKINGS
5.--PATRIOTS---3 – 1 --UP 2 ---VERY NICE WIN OVER RAVENS
6.--BALT---------3 – 1 --DN 3 --DONT BE FOOLED RAVENS ARE AWESOME
7.--BRONCOS----4 – 0 --UP 9 --THE LONG ORANGE LINE
8.--JETS---------3 – 1 --DN 3 --ROOKIE QB FINALLY FLINCHES
9.--FALCONS----2 – 1 --DN 1 --DID NOT PLAY
10.-49ERS-------3 – 1---UP 3 --PLAY AWAY FROM 4 – 0
11.-STEELERS---2 – 2 --E------FOUND A RUNNING GAME AGAINST S.D.
12.-EAGLES------2 – 1 --E------DID NOT PLAY
13.-BEARS-------3 – 1 --UP 1 --STARTING TO FIND IDENTITY
14.-BENGALS----3 – 1 --UP 3 --NOT IMPRESSIVE VS BROWNS
15.-JAGUARS----2 – 2--UP 7---SUDDENLY LOOKING LIKE JAGS
16.-CHARGERS---2 – 2-DN 7 --HAVE SOME PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH
17.-COWBOYS---2 – 2 -DN 7 --REALLY HAVE SOME PROBS
18.-PACKERS----2 – 2 -DN 3 --LACK OF LINEPLAY KILLING THEM QUICKLY
19.-CARDINALS-2 – 1 -UP 1 --DID NOT PLAY
20.-TEXANS-----2 – 2 -DN 1 --BEAT RAIDERS
21.-REDSKINS---2 – 2 -UP 5 --THEY DO HAVE 2 WINS
22.-DOLPHINS--1 – 3 -UP 1 --BEAT BILLS WITH BACKUP QB ????
23.-TITANS-----0 – 4 -DN 2 --BEST OF THE WORST I GUESS
24.-SEAHAWKS--1 – 3 --E------HOPE HSSELBACK RETURNS SOON
25.-BILLS--------1 – 3 --DN 7 --WHAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WEEK 1 ??
26.-PANTHERS--0 – 3 --UP 3 --THIS LOW, NOT PLAYING IS A BOON
27.-LIONS-------1 – 3 --DN 2 ---LOST TO CHICAGO , NO SHAME
28.-RAIDERS----1 – 3 --DN 1 ---LOST TO TEXANS , A LITTLE SHAME
29.-CHIEFS------0 – 4 --DN 1 ---ITS TIGHT AT THE BOTTOM
30.-BUCCS-------0 – 4 --E-------GOOD MOVE STARTING ROOKIE , I MEAN IT !
31.-BROWNS-----0 – 4 -UP 1 ----ALMOST MANAGED A TIE
32.-RAMS--------0 – 4 -DN 1 ----THEY USED TO PLAY IN L.A.

Best Country On Earth , my reason

As I'm sure you are no doubt aware there is a raging debate in our country right now over Health Care Reform. Our alleged messiah President Obama wants to completely remake the greatest health care system in world under the guise of helping the unfortunate . Now it is no secret that many aspects of system need some kind of reform , but for the most part , fraud , scandalism and over regulation are the only things that actually need fixing . For an overwhelming majority of Americans health care is a boon beyond reproach , even if it can be tedious .

To that point the recent unscrupulous posturing of the Left has compelled me to tell a story I don't like telling at all . I'm going to do it anyway in the hopes that any who read it will rethink the absurd allegations made by the Left in their attempt to grab as much power as they can .

The Left would have you believe that only the evil rich people in this country can afford health care while millions of the " little guys " can not afford even the most rudimentary care . I would submit my story to you .

Several years ago I was the victim of a violent attack , an attack that left me hospitalized with a broken jaw and massive head trauma . Trauma that would require extensive facial reconstructive surgery . I was lucky to live through it to be honest . The right side of my face was in effect , shattered . Several parts of my skull were cracked and broken and my right eye socket was virtually destroyed . Through the haze of the necessary morphine required to make me even remotely comfortable I wondered if I would ever recognize myself in the mirror if and when the doctors could put me back together .

Now I don't recall the passage of time particularly well during this period ( the morphine you understand ) but I believe it took a couple of days for the swelling to go down enough for the doctors to get a good enough look at the damage to be able to formulate a plan to operate on me . Lying in that bed , broken , and barely able to speak . I remember wondering how on earth I would pay for the multiple surgeries that would be needed to repair me . I was certain that , even if my face could be restored to the point where I could live without pain , I would most certainly spend the rest of my life paying for it . And to be perfectly honest with you I would gladly have paid whatever monthly amount that I could manage for the rest of my days if only these brainiac doctors ( god bless them ) could find a way to fix me enough so that I could still work and hopefully , hopefully , I would not be left a hideous wreck .

Not only did my group of doctors and surgeons do that , they did much , much , more for me . They started by repairing my broken jaw , which was not so much broken as it was no longer attached to my skull . They reset that , wired it shut so that it could heal properly , gave me a tracheotomy so I could breath , and then they really got to work .

They started with the small bones closest to my right ear ( which my surgeon explained to me was the equivalent of finding fingernail clippings in a bowl of oatmeal ) fastening the shards together with small titanium plates . They then worked they're way back towards my right eye where upon they were required to construct me a new eye socket of titanium mesh so that my right eyeball had a place to rest , as the the original was beyond repair . After performing this miracle they again used the small titanium plates to piece together my orbital bone using only the ( intact ) left side of my face as a guide to my god given good looks . And to top it all off , they did this , all of this , through a tiny incision ( not even a half an inch long ) at the top of my nose that is now mostly hidden by my natural eyebrow .

Only my friends and loved ones who visited me in the hospital even know it is there .

Yeah , soak that in for a second ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, The advances in Medical Technology in this country are simply astounding . I would have counted it a blessing to emerge from that operation with the full use of both eyes . Instead , when I look in the mirror I see the face I grew up with . I have not yet found a way to express my gratitude to those doctors . I suspect I never will .

Now , I want you to keep in mind that at the time of my accident I was not really working , had no money in the bank and most certainly had no health insurance of any kind . When I came out of that surgery one the first persons to come see me , aside from my family of course , was a woman that I had never seen in my life . This women was from an organization called the Colorado Indigent Care Program . C.I.C.P. To make a long story short all this woman did was verify that I (a) had no money (b) had no personal health insurance , and (c) was not covered on anyone elses plan . After verifying those 3 things she ( on behalf of C.I.C.P. ) offered to pay a portion of my medical bills for no other reason than that is what they do . I do not know the origins behind that charity but I have never heard from them since . I have never been asked for a donation or for anything else . I often think to myself that I should do something to help that organization , and I promise you that indeed I will . Whether it be through donation or by volunteering my time I do not know . But one thing is for sure . I owe that organization big time , irregardless if they think so .

The rest of my bills , which if I recall correctly were in excess of $300,000.00 was paid by the state due to fact that I was the victim of a violent crime . Wow . Listen I know that no system is perfect , but what I'm saying is this . I required a 3 week hospital stay , several operations performed by elite specialists , x-rays , cat scans , outpatient check ups , copious amounts of morphine and other medications , and the brilliance of highly trained doctors and nurses . I am a nobody, with no money , from a random town in a small state and

I DID NOT PAY ONE RED CENT for the greatest medical care in the world .

So when you leftist pricks go on national television and trash this country , when you Mister President go around the country insulting the institutions that made America great , when I go to a hospital and see illegal immigrants receiving care despite the fact that they have no legal address to send the bill to but doctors help them anyway because they are doctors and have sworn to help everyone who needs it , when you power hungry , habitual liars , tell me this country is broke and the only way to fix it is to give YOU more control ??

I say PISS OFF JERK !!!! This is the greatest country on Earth DESPITE you and your ilk constantly trying to weaken it with your socialist propaganda .

If America is so damned terrible a place then I implore you , Freedom Hater , leave , get the hell out , it will make life that much better for those of us who love it .

A FOOTBALL STORY

I would like to tell you a story . A story about football . You may not think it a good story but my pain compels me to tell it . The story starts in 1977 as a Packer fan is born .

I was born somewhere in California but it wasn't long before my parents settled in Colorado .

My earliest memory of football was watching a Packer game with my father as he described a woeful Packers team . I believe that was in 1981 , which would have made me 4 . I was instantly enamored with the underdog Packers and they're brilliant green uniforms . Now I say 1981 and that could be inaccurate but my second memory of football is the 1982 strike year . One of the only times the Packers won the division in the 70's and 80's . As they stunk out loud more often than not back then .

Anyway the years between 82 and 87 spawned the emergence of ESPN in all of it's glory . Because of ESPN and all of it's programing I began to learn of the history behind the Packers . Lombardi , Lambeau , The Frozen Tundra , The Ice Bowl , Super bowls 1 and 2 , Ray Nitschki , Bart Starr , Paul Hornung , and on and on and on . Needless to say by 1988 i have matured from an infant who giggled at the guys in green to a full fledged young Cheesehead .

Now in 1988 at the tender age of 11 I am already talking good smack . Despite the fact that the Packers are still atrocious . Consistently finishing with less than 7 wins . That being said I am now more in love with the Packers than ever before . The reason ??

Well I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that at or around this time the greatest .video game of all time was released . That's right , the first Super Tecmo Bowl to include all 32 teams . This was not only my favorite game ever , I played it so much it allowed me to be familiar with every player of note the Packers had to offer .

6 and 10 superstars like Keith Woodside and Darrel ( touchdown ) Thompson , the "Magic Man" Don Majikowski , hard hitters like Mark Murphy , Brian Noble , and Chuck Cecil . By the way I don't care how many penalty's Chuck received for leading with the crown , or how many guys burned him deep , Chuck Cecil was the shit . Plus the video Packers featured my favorite player then , and still today . Sterling Sharpe . The only jersey I will wear that doesn't have my name on it .

So anyway I got mad cheese love now . I love the Majic Man and Sterling is my hero . 1989 comes around and t he Pack make the Playoffs !! Only to get crushed of course but whatever , we are getting good ! 1990 uhm wait no we are not . We still suck but in a meaningless game vs the Tampa Bay Bucs Majikowski is hurt and some guy named Favre comes in to replace him . Favre ?? We are bringing in a guy who can't spell his own name ?? Sure enough his first pass ends in a deflection which he catches himself for gain of negative 7 . Oh boy here we go .

But in the years to come old Brett Favre turns into the savior . Winning his first start in comeback fashion against the Bengals and from there it was on . The winning seasons began and life was good . Then Sterling Sharpe broke his neck and had to retire. A sad day in my life . That guy was gonna set records . All time records .

Anyway after a couple years of getting crushed by the Cowboys in the playoffs the Packers finally get around them and win the Superbowl in 96 . My hangover will be legendary . Don't believe me ? Ask my brother at http://curiousmojo.blogspot.com/ he was there , he can confirm the fact that I passed out during the entire 3rd quarter . He can also confirm my miraculous rebound to somehow enjoy the 4th quarter despite copious amounts of gluttony .

1997 of course brought the third ( and unprecedented ) consecutive MVP award for Brett . Now loosing the Superbowl to the Broncos was pretty harsh but it was not the worst thing that happened in t he NFL that year . No that would be the splitting of the MVP award between Favre and Barry Sanders . Now Favre had a great year , no doubt , but Barry Sanders was clearly the MVP that year and the extra Favre love was a joke .

Between 98 and 2006 the Pack were good but not title contenders . Well maybe 98 but Steve Young , T.O. and the worst call of a Jerey Rice fumble ruined us . But we still won a lot of games and life as Packer fan was good . Then , after the first non - winning season since Favre came around the Pack had a decision to make . Keep the ageing gunslinger that can't decide if he wants to play or not , or , go to the young prospect who is dying to play . After much debate the Packers let old Favre come back . A magical 13 - 3 regular season ensues and the last ditch Favre effort runs all the way to the NFC Championship game before coming to a close .

Wow , what a way to end it all . Except for the fact that B. Favre aint done . He decides to come back ....... after the Pack have givin the job to young Aaron Rodgers . But he is playing for the New York Jets ??? At this point I said to myself " you know what , I don't care if he plays for another 20 years , he got me a Superbowl in my lifetime and he can do as he pleases . "

That was until this year , 2009 , when he signed with the Minnesota Vikings . What ??? !!! The freaking Vikings ??? Are you kidding me ?? There is only one team that Packer Fans hate more than the Chicago Bears , and that is the Vikings . How on gods green earth has this happened ??

So after 16 years of defending his misspelled name , rooting for him despite his many interceptions and fumbles , I HAVE TO WATCH HIM GO UNDER CENTER FOR THE FREAKING VIKINGS ? AGAINST THE PACKERS ?? ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL ?? IN A PURPLE UNIFORM WITH PINK CLEATS ?? ( the cleats are actually cool as they are for breast cancer awareness )

Some say I should root for the man cuz of all the things he did for my team . I say nay ! I am a Packer fan first and foremost , I appreciate the things he did for us but now that he has sided with the enemy I hope he gets jacked the hell up .

Can't beleivehe is wearing purple , I think I'm gonna be sick .

NFL POWER RANKINGS AFTER WEEK 3

1--GIANTS-------3 – 0 --E----SHUT OUT THE BUCS . LIKE A # 1 SHOULD
2--COLTS--------3 – 0 --E----MANNING WORKED CARDS OVER
3--BALT---------3 – 0 ---E---DESTROYED BROWNS . NO BIG DEAL
4-SAINTS--------3 – 0 --UP 1-STARTED SLOW vs BILLS BUT GOT W
5-JETS-----------3 – 0 --UP 4 -SEEMS HIGH ? MAYBE BUT JETS ARE TOUGH
6-VIKINGS-------3 – 0 --UP 2 -LUCK vs 49ERS KEEPS THEM IN THIS SPOT
7-PATRIOTS-----2 – 1 ---E ----NICE WIN OVER TALENTED FALCONS
8-FALCONS------2 – 1 --DN 4 --BEAT themselves VS PATS
9-CHARGERS----2 – 1 --UP 2 --BEAT THE DOLPHINS
10-COWBOYS----2 – 1--E-----IM NOT CONVINCED
11-STEELERS----1 – 2 --DN 4 --ALL IS NOT GOOD IN STEELERLAND
12-EAGLES------2 – 1 --UP 5 --LET KOLB PLAY . IT COULD BE GOLD
13-49ERS--------2 – 1--DN 1 --NINERS ARE TOUGH
14-BEARS-------2 – 1 --UP 5 --SHAKEY AGAINST HAWKS BUT GOT IT DONE
15-PACKERS----2 – 1---UP 5 --SHOULD HAVE BEAT RAMS BY 30 . DIDN'T
16-BRONCOS----3 – 0 --UP 5 --NICE WIN vs RAIDERS
17-BENGALS----2 – 1 --UP 5 ---BEAT THE STEELERS FINALLY, IMPRESSIVE
18-BILLS--------1 – 2---DN 2 ---CLOSE TO IMPROVING
19-TEXANS-----1 – 2---DN 1 ---DITTO
20-CARDINALS-1 – 2-DN 7 ---DESERVE BETTER RANK , I THINK
21-TITANS-----0 – 3 -DN 7 ---NOT THIS BAD , BUTT 0-3 IS 0-3
22-JAGUARS---1 – 2 -UP 5 ---MAY HAVE WOKE UP AGAINST TEXANS
23-DOLPHINS--0 – 3 -DN 8 ---AGAIN , 0-3 IS 0-3
24-SEAHAWKS--1 – 2 -DN 1 --LOST OT BEARS
25-LIONS-------1 – 2 -UP 6 ---HEY , THEY EARNED THIS
26-REDSKINS---1 – 2 -DN 2 ---NOT LOOKING GOOD AT ALL , 26 MAY BE GENEROUS
27-RAIDERS-----1 – 2 -DN 2 --WORKED OVER BY BRONCOS
28-CHIEFS-------0 – 3 -DN 2 --WORKED OVER BY EAGLES
29-PANTHERS---0 – 3-DN 1 ---NOT THIS BAD AT ALL BUT NOT GOOD EITHER
30-BUCCANEARS-0 – 3 -DN 1 -???????????????????????
31-RAMS---------0 – 3-- UP 1 -AT LEAST THEY CAN SCORE POINTS
32BROWNS-------0 – 3 --DN 2 -TWO WORDS … HOT GREASE FIRE

NFL PICKS FOR WEEK # 4

Well a nice little rebound in week 3 puts the Big Ragu back over 70 % straight up and a third consecutive winning week against the spread (9-7) keeps my head above water vs. the spreads .
Also I would like you to notice that I did indeed correctly predict the Lions and Bengals winning in week 3 . Here we go for week # 4 .

(1)---BALT--@--NE------------NE----------NE----(-3)
(2)---T.B.----@--WASH-------WASH--------TB----+ 7.5
(3)---TENN--@--JACK--------TENN-------TENN--(-1)
(4)---OAK---@--HOU----------HOU--------HOU---(-9.5)
(5)---DET---@--CHI-----------CHI---------DET----+ 11.5
(6)---CINN--@--CLE----------CINN--------CINN---(-4)
(7)---SEA----@--INDI---------INDI--------SEA----+ 12
(8)---GIA----@--K.C.----------GIA---------GIA----(-9.5)
(9)---JETS---@--N.O.----------N.O.--------N.O.----(-6.5)
(10)--BUFF--@--MIA----------MIA--------MIA----+ 1
(11)--DAL----@--DEN----------DAL--------DAL----(-3)
(12)--STL----@--S.F.-----------STL--------STL-----+ 10
(13)--S.D.----@--PITT----------S.D.--------S.D.-----+ 5
(14)--G.B.----@--MINN---------G.B--------G.B.-----+ 3

LAST WEEK -----13 - 3 STRAIGHT AND 9-7 VS THE SPREAD
TOTALS---------35 - 13 AND 28 - 20

NFL PICKS FOR WEEK # 3

Well after starting off strong in week one , week number two did a heck of job deflating my ego . When you win more games against the spread (10) than you did straight up (9) it's a sure sign of some serious misscalculation . Still doing well in both categories so far . 22-10 (69%) straight winners and 19-13-0 (59%) against the line . Here is how I see week 3 playing out .

-----------GAME---------------PICK------------VS SPREAD

(1)---WASH--@--DET----------DET---------DET--- +6-----W----W
(2)---G.B.----@--STL-----------G.B.--------STL---- +7 -----W----L
(3)---S.F-----@--MINN--------MINN-------MINN-(-7) ----W----L
(4)---ATL----@--N.E.----------N.E.---------N.E.----(-4.5) --W----W
(5)---TENN--@--JETS---------TENN-------TENN--+ 2 ----L-----L
(6)---K.C.----@--PHIL---------PHIL--------K.C.---- + 9 ----W----L
(7)---GIA----@--T.B.-----------GIA---------GIA---(-7) -----W----W
(8)---CLE----@--BALT---------BALT-------BALT--(-14) ---W----W
(9)---JACK--@--HOU-----------HOU-------HOU---(-3.5) ---L----L
(10)--CHI---@--SEA------------CHI--------CHI----(-3) -----W---W
(11)--N.O.---@--BUFF----------N.O.--------N.O.---(-6.5) ---W---W
(12)--PITT--@--CINN----------CINN------CINN--+ 4 ------W----W
(13)--DEN---@--OAK-----------DEN-------DEN----(-2) -----W----W
(14)--MIA---@--S.D.------------S.D.--------S.D.----(-6) -----W----W
(15)--IND---@--ARZ------------ARZ-------ARZ----(-2.5) ---L-----L
(16)--CAR---@--DAL------------DAL-------CAR---- + 9 ----W-----L
TOTALS-----------------------------------------------------(13)---(9)
WEEK 2 TOTALS --------9 - 7 AND 10-6-0
SEASON TOTALS--------22-10 AND 19-13-0

SPREADS USED FROM SPORTSINTERACTIN.COM

NFL POWER RANKINGS WEEK 2

AHHHH there is nothing quite like the week 2 Power Rankings . Only in week 2 can we still have teams that win and drop posistions .


(1)--GIANTS------2 – 0----UP 2----BEAT CWBYS IN JERRYLAND OPENER
(2)--COLTS-------2 – 0----UP 2----OVERCAME DOLPHINS AWESOME EFFORT
(3)--BALT---------2 – 0----UP 2 ---GREAT WIN OVER CHARGERS
(4)--FALCONS----2 – 0----UP 3 ----BEAT CAROLINA
(5)--SAINTS------2 – 0----UP 6----CRUSHED EAGLES
(6)--STEELERS---1 – 1----DN 5-----LOST SQUEAKER TO BEARS
(7)--PATRIOTS---1 – 1----DN 5 ----GOT PUNKED BY THE JETS
(8)--VIKINGS----2 – 0 ---UP 2 ----BEAT LIONS 2ND BAD OPPONENT
(9)--JETS--------2 – 0 ---UP 5----BEAT PATRIOTS , GOT OT GIVE IT TO THEM
(10)-COWBOYS--1 – 1 ---DN 4----NEARLY BEAT THE GIANTS
(11)-CHARGERS-1 – 1---UP 2----ALMOST BEAT RAVENS WITHOUT LT
(12)-49ERS------2 – 0 --UP 6 ----BEAT SEAHAWKS
(13)-CARDINALS-1 – 1--UP 6---- REBOUNDED AGAINST JAGS
(14)-TITANS----0 – 2---DN 6 ----BEST 0 – 2 TEAM EVER
(15)-DOLPHINS-0 – 2---UP 6----2ND BEST 0 – 2 TEAM EVER
(16)-BILLS------1 – 1-----E------REBOUNDED NICELY AGAINST BUCS
(17)-EAGLES----1 – 1---DN 8----LOST OT THE SAINTS
(18)-TEXANS---1 – 1----UP 5 ---BEAT TITANS
(19)-BEARS-----1 – 1----UP 1----BEAT THE STEELERS
(20)-PACKERS--1 – 1---DN 8 --LOST OT BENGALS,MAJOR O-LINE WOES
(21)-BRONCOS--2 – 0 --UP 4 ----HAVE BEAT BOTH OHIO TEAMS
(22)-BENGALS--1 – 1 ---UP 5 ---LOOKED MUCH BETTER WHIPPING PACKERS
(23)-SEAHAWKS-1 – 1--DN 6 ---LOST TO UPSTART 49ERS
(24)-REDSKINS--1 – 1 ---E------BEAT RAMS , BARELY
(25)-RAIDERS---1 – 1---UP 4 ---WELL THEY ARE .500 NOW
(26)-CHIEFS----0 – 2 ----E------LOST TO RAIDERS
(27)-JAGUARS--0 – 2--DN 12----LOST TO CARDINALS
(28)-PANTHERS-0 – 2--DN 6 ---LOST TO FALCONS
(29)-BUCCANEARS-0 – 2-DN 1 --LOST TO BILLS
(30)-BROWNS---0 – 2---E-------LOST TO BRONCOS
(31)-LIONS------0 – 2 --E-------LOST TO VIKINGS
(32)-RAMS------0 – 2---E-------LOST TO SKINS

NFL POWER RANKINGS / AFTER WEEK 1

1.---STEELERS----1-0---E--Beat a real good Titans team despite running game
2.---PATRIOTS----1-0---E--Got away with one but you could see them get hot
3.---GIANTS-------1-0---E----Held serve against division rival Redskins
4.---COLTS---------1-0--UP 1--Beat the Jags ..... Barely
5.---RAVENS-------1-0--UP 1--Held on vs a suprisingly ready Chiefs team .
6.---COWBOYS-----1-0--UP 1--Crushed Tampa Bay just like thet should
7.---FALCONS------1-0--UP 3--Smashed last years cinderella Dolphins
8.---TITANS--------0-1--DN 4--Better than this ranking , but they lost so ....
9.---EAGLES--------1-0--UP 2--Destroyed Carolina but lost Mcnabb, we will see
10.--VIKINGS-------1-0--UP 2--Won impressivly , against Cleveland
11.--SAINTS---------1-0--UP 3--Looked like world beaters , against Lions
12.--PACKERS-------1-0--UP 5--Almost lost despite 4 INTS
13.--CHARGERS-----1-0--DN 5--Needed all 60 minutes to take lowly Raiders
14.--JETS------------1-0--UP 5--Solid versus a supposedly better Texans team
15.--JAGUARS-------0-1---E----Lost to the Colts .....Barely
16.--BILLS-----------0-1--UP 4--Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory
17.--SEAHAWKS-----1-0--UP 7--Shut-out the Rams
18.--49ERS----------1-0--UP 6--Beat one of two teams in last years Superbowl
19.--CARDINALS----0-1--DN 6--Lost to 49ers . Superbowl hangover ?????
20.--BEARS----------0-1--DN 4--Lost to Packers but not this bad
21.--DOLPHINS-----0-1--DN 3--Not enough power for Falcons
22.--PANTHERS-----0-1--DN13--Wow ! What was that ?????????
23.--TEXANS--------0-1--DN 2--Starting slow.......Again
24.--REDSKINS------0-1--DN 2--Lost to the Giants
25.--BRONCOS------1-0--UP 2--Needed a miracle to beat bengals
26.--CHIEFS---------0-1--UP 2--Fought hard against Ravens without Cassel
27.--BENGALS-------0-1--DN 4--Only scored once against Broncos
28.--BUCCANEARS--0-1--DN 3--This team has some issues
29.--RAIDERS-------0-1--UP 3--May have lost but looked like an NFL team
30.--BROWNS-------0-1---E----Lost to Adrian Peterson, it's O.K.
31.--LIONS----------0-1--DN 1--Wont be the last team to give up 50 to the Saints
32.--RAMS----------0-1--DN 1--Shut out in week 1. By the Seahawks. Wow.

Posting power rankings 12 hours before the next set of games is comical I know but I'm trying to get into a rythem here .

WEEK 2 NFL PICKS

Well I must say that outside of a few suprises ( ARZ , HOU ) and one terrible upset call on my part ( STL ) week one went pretty much as planned . 13 and 3 straight up was not too shabby but I did miss on alot of the afternoon scores . 9 and 7 versus the spread . So it seems that The Big Ragu is out and running to start the season . Lets see if I can keep it up in week 2 .

(1)--CAR--@--ATL----------ATL----------CAR ------ + 6.5------W---L
(2)--MINN@--DET----------MINN--------MINN-----(-9.5) -----W---W
(3)--CINN @--G.B. ----------G.B.---------CINN------ + 9.5 ------L----W
(4)--HOU-@--TENN---------TENN--------HOU------ +7.5 ------L----W
(5)--OAK--@--K.C.----------K.C.----------K.C.------- (-3.5) -----L----L
(6)--N.E.--@--JETS----------N.E.---------N.E.------- (-5.5) -----L-----L
(7)--N.O.--@-PHILI----------N.O.--------N.O-------- + 1.5 ------W---W
(8)--STL--@--WASH---------WASH-----STL-------- + 10.5 -----W---W
(9)--ARZ--@--JACK----------JACK------JACK-------( -3.5 ) -----L---L
(10)-SEA--@--S.F.------------S.F.--------S.F---------( -1.5) ------W--W
(11)-T.B.--@--BUFF----------BUFF------BUFF-------( -4.5 ) -----W--W
(12)-PITT-@-CHI------------PITT-------PITT-------( -2.5 ) -----L---L
(13)-CLE--@-DEN------------DEN--------DEN--------( -3.5 ) -----W--W
(14)-BALT-@-S.D.-------------BALT------BALT------- + 4.5 ------W--W
(15)-GIA--@-DAL-------------DAL-------DAL--------( -2.5 ) ------L---L
(16)-INDI-@-MIA-------------INDI------INDI------- ( - 3.5 ) -----W---W
TOTAL----------------------------------------------------------(9-7)--(10-6)
With apologies to the lateness of this post I have gotten them in while it is still Saturday .

WEEK ONE RECORD 13-3 AND 9-7
TOTAL 2009 13-3 AND 9-7

Best Day Of The Year

For those of us sports enthusiasts one of the greatest debates is this . In the 365 days in the calender year what is the most enjoyable single day ?????

Let me start this discussion with a disclaimer ..... those of you who love only one sport need not apply . This debate is clearly reserved for those of us who love all sports , ( probably because we are no longer good at any ) and get fired up for any sporting event . Also as a side note I am not speaking to you gamblers . I have no problem with gambling but your love for competition is not the same . If there was enough money involved you would be equally fired up about a high school lacrosse game as you would be anything else . No , I am only talking to the true sports nuts . You know who you ( we ) are .

Some would say it's the National Championship game in college football . A good day to be sure but not even in the top three as it does not have a tournament leading up to it .

Others would say that a game 7 of the World Series is the best day of the year . I'll admit that a 7th game in the world series could be something completely unforgettable . But it doesn't happen that often so it is likewise disqualified .

Same goes for 7th game NBA or NHL championship games for the same reason .

Now before we get to the top three days of the year we must talk about the Superbowl . How does an American institution like the Superbowl not make the top three ??????? I will explain soon . First things first . The top three days of the year do not include the best party of the year . That is an honor that unequivocally goes to the Super Bowl . Hands down . The reason ?? Besides the fact that it's the deciding game between the two best teams in America's real pastime , it's the only sporting event on North America that non sports fans gladly involve themselves in . Less than avid fans will congregate to watch this tilt . Citizens of the competing teams cities will come out just to talk smack , and best of all , hot , young , and ready to drank half naked wild North American Females will ( for one night ) pass up the downtown clubs to attend Superbowl house parties . Regardless of the teams playing . It's not about the game for them , and who are we to complain ?

This brings me to the 3rd best sports day of the year . The bronze medal winner . OPENING DAY . MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL . The date itself seems to change from year to year but man alive what a good solid day . Baseball is the ultimate game for the stat dork . You absolutely can not hide in Major League Baseball . The season is so long that all pretenders are ultimately exposed . The playoffs may hold surprises but in baseball .......you cannot get to the playoffs by accident . Even if you have some good players you will never make it through the 162 game grind without a quality organization supporting you . Which is why I love opening day so much . Baseball is the great statistic , and on opening day every single player ( pitchers and hitters alike ) have the same stats . 0000000 . Zeros , all across the board . Every team has hope , ( realistic or not ) and every player faces a new beginning. As for the fans ?? By this point we have seen "pitchers and catchers " spring training and the final projected lineups . Speculation abounds !!!!

The best part ? Opening day in the Majors is the only day of the year that all 32 teams run out the best (healthy) pitcher they have on staff . 32 aces baby . Personally it's a bar day for me . Belly up early in the afternoon and take in a full day of fresh beginnings . If you can't get down with that then you are dead to me .

So we come to the silver medal , second place . THE FIRST FULL DAY (WEDNESDAY) OF MARCH MADNESS . This day usually falls on the 17th or 18th of March but it is always on a Wednesday. Round 1 is wed - thur , Round 2 is sat - sun . It's actually the best 4 day span all year but we are talking single day . The opening day ( sans the play in game ) of the NCAA College Basketball tourney is the most called in sick to work day of the year . For good reason . You can actually do this on either of the first two days but day one is the bomb . If you have never taken this day off of work then you are missing out . It absolutely does not matter who was good in college ball that year day one is awesome . Why ???? Well for one the conference tourneys are over and half the field is in the top 4 or 5 of the 6 major divisions are in . Likewise the winners of about 25 divisions that only get the conference tourney winners are in . Plus about 5 to 10 teams that were just to good to leave out are in .

What ???? If it sounds like the best idea ever , that's because it is . Round one takes the tourney from 64 to 32 and half of that goes down the first day . 16 games and there are always some upsets . Always , every year . If you are lucky enough to be home drinking beer that day then your life is gold for a day . First game starts at 10 , and the last gets over at 10 . Plus it's the first time you get to score that bracket you worked on for a month . Even non basketball loving office employees play this game , because it is physically impossible to pick all the games right . It's just a great freaking day .

The gold medal ?? As if there was a question ! THE FIRST SUNDAY OF NFL FOOTBALL . Best day of the year hands down . All those others are good but this is far and away the best for me . Pro Football has an excruciatingly long off season . Free agency wakes us up a little . Pre Season gets us to salivating , and week one has us painting our faces and talking more smack than MMA fighters .

Holy crap week one is here !!! Even though there was a game on Thursday ( which I always enjoy ) the first day of football is on Sunday boys and girls and it is always awesome . The NFL is so violent that there are only 16 regular season games for each team . That means that unlike any other sport week one could potentially mean as much as week 8 , 10 , 12 or 16 . In a league where every player , at every position , on every team has a cold blooded killer ( and physical specimen )ready to not only take your job , but break your neck to do it , every game is a must win .

So if your team is one of the 16 to play at home week one then you know . YOU KNOW ! That your fans will be out in force . The opening game will be the first time since December that all 32 teams play the starters the whole game . It doesn't matter what your team is projected to do either . If you win in week one then your team is in first baby !!

Opening day Baseball is all day , and if you loose ?? Well you got 161 left to go . The first game in Basketball and Hockey is not that big a deal . But in football it's over so fast and a W could make your season .

Thank goodness it's here . We've all been waiting .

Air Jordan ...... Best Ever

The great Michael Jordan was inducted to the hall of fame today . In case you were hiding under a rock for the last 25 years you already know this . I have not seen the ceremony yet as I just got off work , but there is no need . I'm sure it was a fine ceremony but in the end just a formality .

The only reason I'm even writing this is because ( now that he is retired ) every time M.J.'s name is brought up it sparks the greatest ever conversations .

Ridiculous . There have been many times many unbelievable basketball players in the history of the sport . Guys who had skills that simply defied the senses , but if you want to say that anybody not named Michael Jordan was the best ever , then you my friend are an idiot . That's all there is to it . This is such a cut and dry conversation that I don't even need to bring statistics into the conversation . ( although I easily could )

If you want to say that Magic , Bird , Russel , Chamberlain , or anybody else was better than you are quite simply wrong . Don't get me wrong I love all those guys . They were all great . More than great actually . They were legends .

You could say to me that Larry Bird was the greatest shooter ever , ( and you would still be wrong because that distinction goes to John Havlechek ) and I would listen to your argument . If you want to say that Magic Johnson was the best point guard ever I would listen to that . Likewise if you want to say that Wilt Chamberlain had the most impact on the league in history , we could talk .

But when you want to talk about the greatest player of all time , in the history of basketball , offense , defense , and pure athletic ability , the conversation begins and ends with the man . M.J. and you know it .

Believe me as a long time Knicks fan it pains me to hype a Chicago Bull but it's true . If you don't agree then you are either the dumbest person on earth or you are a hater and just refuse to admit it . The only guy that even reminds me of his Airness is Kobe . ( another thing I hate to admit )

Like I said I need no stats for this argument . Just think about it . Think about the things you saw Michael Jordan do over his career . Just think about it . You know I am right .

NFL WEEK # 1 PICKS

Oh goodness here we go again . The 2009 NFL season is upon us and that means that it is time for me to make a complete ass of myself . Last year ( not published ) I scored a whopping 53 % against the spread and a less than impressive 69 % straight up . Those are win percentages for you non-gamblers . That being said I still believe that I am the worlds foremost authority on the NFL . So I will still put my picks out there before the start of the first game every week because I like the punishment . So here goes for week one in the 2009 NFL season . ( as a footnote I use the spreads on ESPN.com the night before the first game of the week )

--------GAME---------------PICK--------VS SPREAD----------RESULTS

(1) TENN @ PITT---------- PITT------------ TENN + 5.5--------W----W
(2) MIA @ ATL------------- ATL------------- ATL ( - 4.5)-------W-----W
(3) DEN @ CINN------------- DEN------------- DEN + 3.5--------W----W
(4) MINN @ CLEV---------MINN------------MINN (- 3.5)-------W-----W
(5) JACK @ INDI------------INDI-------------INDI (- 6.5)-------W-----L
(6) DET @ N.O.------------- N.O.------------- N.O.( - 11.5)-------W-----W
(7) DAL @ T.B.---------------DAL------------- DAL (- 3.5)--------W----W
(8) PHILI @ CAR----------- PHILI------------ PHIL + 0.5--------W----W
(9) K.C. @ BALT------------ BALT----------- BALT (- 8.5)--------W----W
(10)JETS @ TEXN---------- TEXN-----------TEXN (- 4.5)--------L-----L
(11)WASH @ GIA------------ GIA------------WASH + 6.5---------W----W
(12)S.F. @ ARZ---------------ARZ-------------ARZ (- 6.5)---------L-----L
(13)STL @ SEA---------------STL-------------- STL + 7.5---------L-----L
(14)G.B. @ CHI--------------- G.B.------------- CHI + 3.5---------W-----L
(15)BUFF @ N.E.------------ N.E.------------- N.E. (- 10.5)-------W-----L
(16)S.D. @ OAK--------------- S.D.------------- S.D. (- 6.5)--------W-----L

Well there you go sports fans . I will post the results on tuesday and the next weeks picks the night before the first NFL game , whether it be Wednesday or Saturday . Feel free to react .

NFL POWER RANKINGS

Well the season starts on thursday ( finally ) so it's time for my pre season power rankings . This is how I rank em going into week one .

(1) - Steelers - The Superbowl champs in 08 have the same players in 09
(2) - Patriots - Brady is back , until they loose ?? I say # 2
(3) - Giants - Cant have top 3 in AFC till it's proven
(4) - Titans - Great running , good passing , strong def . see how they do
(5) - Colts - Two words Peyton Manning
(6) - Ravens - If Flacco is better look out
(7) - Cowboys - No T.O. ?? No distractions ..... O.K. less distractions but still good
(8) Chargers - Poised to blow it up this year in a week division
(9) - Panthers - Hard to judge . wont be suprised if they go up or down
(10) - Falcons - If Matty Ice has no sophmore blues .
(11)- Eagles - Great offseason , then Vick . We shall see .
(12)- Vikings - Great team but Bert Favor will throw picks as well as TD's .
(13)- Cardinals- Not convinced after last years Superbowl run
(14)- Saints - Still not sold on defense in hard core division
(15)- Jaguars - Is Garrard the man ????
(16)- Bears - Cutler is good , so is Forte , Receivers and def scare me
(17)- Packers - Pack will be better . but playoff better ????
(18)- Dolphins- Patriots bring them back to reality
(19)- Jets - Sanchez ...yes Playoffs ... no
(20)- Bills - I like the Bills . Despite T.O.
(21)- Texans - If they can avoid the usual slow start , they will move up
(22)- Redskins- I hope Jason Cambell makes me look stupid
(23)- Bengals - Still not good but they are healthy
(24) -Seahawks- ditto
(25) - Buccanears- not healthy , and in a bad kinda transistion
(26)- 49ers - Love Mike Singeltary . That's about it .
(27)- Broncos - Train wreck in slow motion
(28)- Chiefs - This is actually an improvement
(29)- Lions - you'll see
(30)- Browns - Go Brady Go !!!! The mighty Quinn .
(31)- Rams - I actually think they are better but they have to prove it
(32)- Raiders - God help you Oakland . Everty time you win it makes the NFL that much more interesting .

As we know trying to rank the NFL after the pre-season is just about stupid , but that's why I am here .

College Football !! Blessed be thy name !!

Well how do you do sports fans ? Good heavens the college football season started in earnest today and all I can say is WOW !!! . I've been so preoccupied with the upcoming NFL season I kind of forgot about ol week one in the college ranks . That turned out to be a big mistake on my part as today's action was quite simply stupendous .

I scarcely know where to start . I can't remember the last time i was so intrigued by the first week in college ball . Even the the Thursday night game was something to watch . Despite the absolutely reprehensible sucker punch by one Legarret Blount at the end of the game there is nothing like a match up of 2 top 20 teams to kickoff the season . Even though # 14 Boise State basically dominated the # 16 Oregon Ducks all night it was still a compelling game . I knew Boise was good but since when do they push around big time schools in the trenches ? They did too , the score should have been a lot worse .

That was just Thursday . Today's action was even better . Obviously the Robo - Tebow led Florida Gators romped but how about those Oklahoma State Cowboys living up to the highest pre season rankings in school history by beating the # 13 Georgia Bulldogs ? Convincingly I might add . ( 24 -10 ) Take that SEC dominance .

Conversely the Iowa Hawkeyes had to reach down deep and block , not one , but two last second field goals to hold off a gritty Northern Iowa squad . Wow that is something you just don't see . Take a deep breath Iowa you just had a near death experience .

In a match up of top 10 teams # 5 Alabama needed all four quarters to finally put away # 7 Va Tech in a hard hitting game that was totally worth watching . The Golden Domers pitched they're first shutout since 2002 by blasting a decent Nevada team and the Naval Academy nearly took down the Ohio State Buckeyes .

Which of course brings us to the most shocking story of the day . The 20th ranked BYU Cougars knocked out Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford and proceeded to upset the 3rd ranked Sooners . What ??? Really ???

Man alive that was one exiting first week in college football . Also on a personal note my beloved Syracuse Orange actually acted like a real football team . Regardless of the fact that they blew it in overtime to the Minnesota Golden Gophers . The opposition still had it's starters playing in the fourth quarter !! That's improvement for my squad .

So if you happened to miss any of that week 1 drama , well , that's why I wrote this .

NFL Prognostication .... NFC EAST

Well I hate to admit it but the absence of T.O. takes some of the hype out of the division , but I believe all four teams will be better for it . Think about it ! With the ultimate head case gone we can actually talk X's and O's instead of being constantly inundated with T.O.'s daily drama .

Now a division that sports Ed Werder's lot in life can never be without it's share of distractions ( see J.J.'s totally awesome mega tron ) but that's OK . There is plenty of good NFC EAST football to talk about this year . But where to start ?

Maybe in Washington where everyone has all the sudden forgotten that new defensive star Albert Haynesworth once ( not so long ago ) attempted to ruin a defenseless man's good looks by stomping him in the face with his metal cleats ?

Or perhaps in New York where the star quarterback does not seem to be satisfied with his new 90 million dollar contract and continues to alienate the universe by participating in cookie licking commercials with his brother .

Or better yet in Philadelphia . Oh Phily .The city of brotherly love , one of the country's most memorable cities . The place where fans will give a warm standing ovation to a convicted dog murderer and boo the man that brought them to 4 NFC title games without a superior offensive cast.

And lastly in Dallas where ..................... not all that much is going on . What ? Really ? The stadium and the mega tron are the big stories so far ? Wow .

Anyway the actual football in this division should be compelling this year for all the right reasons . The Giants may miss Plaxico ( his sentence is another discussion ) but they still may have the most balanced offense of the four . Great running game and a gritty defense remain potent and if WR. Steve Smith has a breakout year then look the hell out . All NFL teams have talent but the Giants have no rough stretches on the schedule .

Nor do the Cowboys but that defense gives me a false sense of security . With all 3 running backs ( Barber , Jones , Smart ) healthy this year look for the Cowboy offense to be as good or better than they were with T.O. . The defense however makes me nervous . They will bring pressure for sure but I get the sensation that they will give up big plays in the secondary .

The Washington Redskins once again will be a team that gives a great effort and has enough talent to win some games but just doesn't . Cambell , Cooley and Portis are just not enough to overcome mediocre wide receivers and O - Line . If Haynseworth turns that Defense into the Ravens then maybe they go better than 8 -8 but I just don't see it .

So we come to the ultimate wild card . The Philadelphia Eagles . Some say that the Eagles had the best off season of any team in the NFL . I might have agreed before they signed Mike Vick . Not because of his criminal record but because of his play . I didn't think he was all that good when he got arrested . Granted he did some crazy things his first two years but after that it seemed to me that M. Vick was developing a serious case of Culpepperism . A.K.A. fumbelitis . The Eagles are gonna have a good team if Brian Westbrook stays healthy all year . DeSean Jackson is poised to have a monster breakout year . I just think the whole Vick thing will be a huge distraction .

PREDICTION ..............

( 1 ) New York Giants 12 - 4
( 2 ) Dallas Cowboys 9 - 7
( 3 ) Philadelphia Eagles 9 - 7
( 4 ) Washington Redskins 6 - 10

NFL Prognostication .... AFC EAST

The 2008 season provided no lack of quality story lines and many of them came straight from the AFC EAST .

Bert Favor got the Jets off to a 9 - 3 start . Tom Brady got hurt for the year early in week one and the lowly Miami Dolphins turned in the greatest single season turn around in NFL history . ( without a dancing Jason Taylor ) . Now as the season progressed young Matt Cassel steadily improved while an ageing Bert Favor got old quickly and the Dolphins managed to win the division .

****EDITORS NOTE****** The author of this blog ( Peter D McGarry ) is a lifelong Green Bay Packer fan and after 16 years of defending # 4 has decided it is no longer in his best interest to ever say that name correctly again . ************************************************

That being said the 2009 AFC EAST is again the source of several multiple compelling stories . Tom Brady is back , Favor is gone and the worlds biggest and baddest crybaby has moved to Buffalo . It could prove to be an interesting year , but not in the win/loss columns .

The Dolphins and Bills are improving but the records wont show it . Even if the Bills are more competitive this year with T.O. they are not going to start any better than 8 - 4 at the absolute most . That would be remarkable for starters but the real downer is that they finish off the season with the Pats , @ Atlanta , and finally home to the Colts . If they aren't 10 and 3 going into that then they aint making the dance .

Like wise the Jets have a lot of talented players but figure to loose some close games as neither the rookie Sanchez or the backup Clemons give them a proven closer .

Now the dolphins are a good team again but they just don't have the fire power to compete with the Patriots for the whole season . Not to mention they start the season going to Atlanta , home for the Colts , and @ San Diego before division games with rivals Buffalo and the Jets . With a bye in week 6 the Dolphins could be 1 an 4 . That would make them spoilers at best .

Which brings us to the New England Patriots . I only have one stat . When Tom Brady starts more than 4 games in a season the Pats win the division . Barring injury it will hold true in 2009 .

PREDICTION

NEW ENGLAND - ( 13 - 3 )
MIAMI - ( 9 - 7 )
NEW YORK - ( 6 - 10 )
BUFFALO - ( 6 - 10 )

Monday Night Gruden ?

One word . I'm in !


Despite the fact that it is still the pre-season I got my first taste of Jon Gruden in the box tonight and I loved it .


Believe it or not the meaningless Monday Night tilt between the Ravens and Jets tonight was kind of entertaining . Not because it was the ' quote machine ' Rex Ryan's first appearance against his old team , or because it was the first real test for jets first round rookie photo shoot . I mean quarterback . ( sorry ) The reason ? Jon ' Chucky ' Gruden was in the house . I think this is going to work .

Now I've always considered Mike Torrico to be an admirable sports caster . Always informed , always well prepared , speaks well , ( obviously ) and always seems to be genuinely exited about the contest at hand . Regardless of the sport . Not to mention he IS a Syracuse grad . But to me one of his best qualities is his ability to mediate between two loudmouths with big egos , a la the great James Brown . I think old Mike is enjoy this particular setting .

We already know what Ron Jaworski is all about and now we have the ultimate football fan in Jon Gruden in there with them . Awesome . Good old ' Chucky ' the grinder himself . I love a color guy that actually knows the ins and outs of the game , which Gruden most certainly does . I'm really looking forward to some titanic arguments between he and Jaws . They have played nice so far but you know it's only a matter of time M.T. is doing his best not to laugh his ass off at these two NFL know-it-alls .

I can't freaking wait . Monday nights just got a lot better in my book .

He Shoots ... He Scores !

Over the years many a theory has been put forth as to the affect video games and Hollywood movies have on person's grasp of reality . Does over indulgence in the world of fantasy eventually warp an individuals ability to separate make believe from reality ? Can a murderer be be forgiven his crime due to his own desensitization ? Very few of us are qualified to accurately judge the mental capacities of another human mind . Personally I've always thought that for one to be so heavily influenced by fantasy that they can no longer tell the difference between it and reality , that that person had to have a couple of miss firing synapses in the first place .

That was until I got home from work tonight , fired up the old flat screen entertainment rectangle , and tuned in to the evening ESPN feed . Where upon I saw ( or at least I think I saw ) Chad Ochocinco , a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals kicking the extra point after the Bengals only score against the Patriots .

Suddenly disoriented and confused I tried to shake it off . Telling myself I must have been mistaken . Only to then be further blown way as the very same ' receiver ' proceeded to put his foot to the ensuing kickoff ! ................ What ? Did that really happen ? No , no it couldn't have . No professional football team would conduct these kinds of on field hi jinks . Not even in the pre season . Not even the Raiders would do such a thing .

No I think it's a far more logical explanation of events that I have simply lost my mind . I believe my conscious mind has finally given up and left me stuck in a perpetual after midnight Madden bender . You know before the days when you could play online . The days when you had seen every conceivable scenario the computer had to offer on it's own and you began to randomly change the players positions just to keep it interesting .

Oh don't act like you don't know what I mean Gamers . You remember how it starts . ' Ok lets see what happens if put I put Jerry Rice in at running back . ' Interesting , but only for a minute . ' Now what if i do that to the whole league ? or better yet let me see which middle linebacker will lead the league in rushing if they are all playing halfback ' now we are talking !

But alas that first high can never last . After Ray Lewis leads the NFL in rushing for the 2nd year in a row it becomes the Law of Diminishing Return . The 2nd , 3rd , and 4th crazy ideas you come up with are never as good as the previous one . So before long ( as the sun is coming up your on beloved Saturday night ) you hit rock bottom and make all the kickers qb's , all the qb's wide receivers , and all the wr's kickers .

This is the only way to see Chad Ochocinco kicking an extra point . Unless of course you are me and have completely lost control of your mental faculties . But don't feel bad for me America . When you are busy watching your predictable playoff scenarios play out , I'll be watching the Washington Redskins win the Superbowl as Pro-Bowl halfback Albert Haynesworth rushes for an unprecedented 3000 yards and Jamarcus Russel leads the league in sacks .

Yeah , top that..................reality

" Frank " ly Speaking

Well I must say that I'm appalled ( but not at all surprised ) by congressman Barney Frank's act at his town hall meeting yesterday . The only surprising thing to me is that the so called ' Anti-American dissenters were even allowed in the building . I thought for sure Dartmouth , Mass. would be the East coast version of Obama's Montana town hall . Nothing but softballs lobbed up by human teleprompters to be smacked out of the park . Much to my surprise the senior center in Dartmouth , Mass. appeared to be filled with actual Americans with real , pertinent questions .

It might have been a refreshing example of an elected public servant debating an issue with those he represents , but unfortunately the official in question was none other than one Barney Frank . That's right good old B. Frank was on the scene . Now I'll admit that many of the 500 plus in the crowd were upset and bitter but do you blame them ? The administration has already rammed the Omnibus , and Stimulus down our throats and have now moved right on into health care . A 1000 plus page bill that many have admitted to not even reading .

So when the concerned constituents in Dartmouth started to ask Mr. Frank some hard questions , how did he respond ? Like so .



and like this




Now if you want to say to me that the woman asking the question about Hitler like policies is an idiot herself well then ............... O.K. But at least she was in control of her own emotions and asked her question directly . ( also did you notice that not many people in the crowd even flinched when she held up her sign and invoked the Nazism ? ) So how did B. Frank respond ? Like he always does . Not in any way , shape , or form answering the question . Instead he attempts to completely belittle the woman by asking what planet she resides in and then compares speaking with her to quote " arguing with a dining room table " very nice Mr. Frank .

Furthermore several times during the two and half hour session Mr. Frank lectures the crowd on the politeness of proper debate . What ? Really ? This is a man who has made a career out of responding to any and all criticism by raising his voice and spewing an unintelligible stream of belligerent nonsense . Especially when confronted by his own statements !

Don't believe me ? Lets go to Harvard then ......................




Did you see that ? The man can not even answer a simple question without belittling the questioner ( a young college student ) and blaming Bush , and everyone else he can think of . The kid asked him this ... " do you think that you have any responsibility for the sub prime mortgage crisis ? " and Frank immediately calls the kid disingenuous before he rolls into an unintelligible rant blaming everyone but himself . As always Mr. Frank ( having no answers for his own behavior ) answers a question with a stream of questions . The kid asked him 4 times a simple question and never got an answer .

How do morons like this come into power ? For that matter how do they stay in power ? This guy's act is worse than any other politician I can think of . What are we supposed to devotedly sit in silence to hear the awe inspiring words of Barney ' freaking ' Frank ? As if his words are beyond reproach ?

I'm not sure I have ever heard Barney Frank answer a question directly . So way to go Dartmouth . Keep it up , and for the love of god Massachusetts vote this arrogant radical out of office before the weight of his own hubris crushes your great state .

Honesty is good so lets not be Frank .

Stupid Earthicans

I often contemplate the possibility of sentient life in the universe . I am of the opinion that the universe is far to vast not to have uncounted other planets capable of supporting life . Therefore the probability that several of those planets harbor intelligent or even enlightened lifeforms seems high to me . I simply believe that the mind boggling size of the universe is the only reason we have not encountered any other life forms yet .

That being said I often find myself wondering what an alien race arriving on Earth for the first time would think of us humans . After all you only get one chance at a first impression . I suppose it would all depend on which particular region of Earth this hypothetical race arrived in first . Would they land their alien craft in a war zone , and be appalled at the brutality they see ? Would they descend onto an American farmland and see Ma and Pa Everyman tending the sheep and be moved by the simple tranquility ? Perhaps they would come first to one of the many megalopolises we Earthicans have constructed and be awed by our innovations ?

Or would have the misfortune to roll up into Heinola, Finland......... in mid June ............ for this..........



Wow , if you really want to see how it went down check this out .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9rX8mpVZKA

or better yet in Anchorage Alaska ........... mid July ................ for this ...............



" Good heavens ! These bloody Earthicans are all on dope ! " proclaims an aghast alien professor aboard the ship . " I had every noble intention of explaining warp speed to the populace of this kind planet " he remarks with a sigh . " but I do not believe that these beings have the mental capacity to wipe my flaboingum ! Let us retire and never speak of the Earthicans again "

Thus ( un-be-knowingest to us ) are we never invited to the Galactic Regime of Interplanetary Think Stallions ( G.R.I.T.S. ) Christmas party . All because we are so concerned about who amongst us has the prettiest chin-pelt or who can can sit down and withstand steam the longest .

Some day on a far away planet some alien guy will be defending his girlfriend when he says to his buddies " Hey ! Hey ! Just because she did her undergrad work at Noodlemuus it dont mean she's no Earthican ! "

Sad but potentially true .

Birth of a Hater

Oh my god tell me Vince Young did not just say what I think he did . Next black QB to win a Superbowl ? Will be in the Hall of Fame someday ? Seriously ? If you haven't seen V.Y.'s act yet check this out . And I quote.....

"I don't know when I'll start again. But I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. And I will be in the Hall of Fame." - Vince Young -

Damn . I just can't believe he said it . The man just called his shot to not only win a Superbowl but to go into the Hall .

Let me start by reminding Mr. Young of all the truly great ( proven ) quarterbacks that never won a Superbowl . Dan Marino , Jim Fouts , Warren Moon , Steve McNair , Randal Cunningham , Fran Tarkington , and to a lesser degree Boomer Esiason , Jim Everett and Dave Krieg . OK Krieg might be a stretch but that's quite a list .

You can not predict a championship win in any sport ( ask C.Barkley ) no matter how freaky good you are . Certainly not in the NFL . My goodness man it's the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE ! You know that league right ? The league that sports 32 teams packed with the biggest , fastest , meanest , hardest , most bloodthirsty killers known to man . That league ?

A league ( and sport ) where the least paid guy on any roster can ( and will ) break your freakin neck if you give him even half a chance . The league where the next big contract comes with tens of millions of GUARANTEED
dollars ? You think the animals behind you aren't coming for your head ?

But you Mr. Young have avoided all common sense and proclaimed yourself the next Doug Williams and voted yourself right on in to Canton . Despicable as it is ridiculous. You have created a major hater in me Mr. Young and I will forever more root for the linebackers trying to decapitate you , regardless of team . As a result I will also have to root against the Titans as long as you remain on the roster , which really pisses me off . Considering how big of a Green Bay Packer honk I am the Tennessee Titans are one of the few NFL teams I don't hold a childish grudge against . You have ruined that for me . Thanks jerk .

Lastly have you not noticed that you are unable to beat out a 500 year old Kerry Collins for the starting job in only your third year ? Perhaps you should hold the clipboard for one more year in the hopes of gaining some perspective .

After all Michael Crabtree " threatening to sit out his rookie season " thinks you have overdone it .

Stimuli ... thy name is 'OVER'

Well it's certainly no secret to anyone that the interest in American politics has ramped up a little since Mr. O's ascendancy to the North American throne . Hot button issues such as cap and trade , global warming , cash for clunkers and above all nationalized health care have ( to say the least ) polarized the country .

Everywhere you look lately the debate seems to be raging . Right versus Left , Conservative versus Radical , Elephant versus Donkey . The fight for power in this country ( and that is what all this is ) has even managed to wake up the middle class folk who have never given a lick about the things going on in Washington . People all over the country who have spent a lifetime ignoring the inane platitudes of over payed , out of touch politicians all the sudden are waking up and rolling out to voice they're opinions .

Likewise with so much at stake in this country the privileged in power have lost more than a little control of themselves and turned into belligerent pontification machines attempting to impose there will on an increasingly put off populace . Some going so far as to refer to hard working ( tax paying ) American citizens who are brave enough to exercise they're freedom of speech in a public forum as quote " evil mongers " or " Nazi's " instead of actually reading the bills they want us to vote for and making a reasonable argument .

Now as you know neither side of the political arena can make it's case without the media in some way shape or form . We are constantly inundated with propaganda of some sort fresh from the mind of some highly paid spin doctor . Now if you add that kind of hourly advertising with the total sum of Hollywood's influence on the human mind set you get a completely de-sensitized , overstimulated America .

Seriously , someone recently released a movie simply called " fighting " . Amazingly it bombed .

My point is this . A woman in Miami set herself on fire in clothing store in a Miami mall yesterday . ...... ...... ..... ..... ... ... .. . . . did you even know ? Yeah in a clothing store called the ' Savage Boutique ' a woman actually doused herself in a flammable liquid and lit herself on fire . Then proceeded to walk around with her arms outstretched like specter of death . The most amazing thing about this is that after two good Samaritans put her out with a couple of fire extinguishers she still had the power to walk out of the mall and into the parking lot before collapsing as a result of her third degree wounds .

The second most amazing thing is that this event barely even registered a blip on the world news radar . Many of you I'm sure are fans of the ' Drudge Report ' an up to the minute news page where the biggest story dominates the top of the page and the rest is split up into three columns of headlines ranked by the newness or importence of the story .

This event did not even crack the top five in either column at any point . Really ? How is that not the lead story on for every news outlet on the planet for the next week ? Are we all so concerned about health care that a person lighting them self on fire isn't even a story ? If I had my way I'd be able to attend a town hall meeting with Obama and I would ask him this ;"Mr. President , how has it come to be that the most enlightened society in the history of the world can ignore the fact that a person lit themself on fire in a public place so that we can debate something as ridiculous as ' cash for clunkers " ????

Unfortunately I'm sure he would just blame it on the W Administration and I would never be seen again .

Crush the Clunkers ?

So the left would have us believe that the " Cash for Clunkers " program is a huge success , and maybe it is . Although I'm a little skeptical . The deal is this . You will receive a 3500 - 4500 dollar credit towards a new ride providing that the new ride gets better gas mileage than old one . I have not personally attempted this but would it surprise anyone if every car dealership in America jacked it's prices up as soon as they heard about this ? I don't know so I can't speak to that .

Now lets just ignore for the moment the fact that the program only lasted 4 days before it was suspended , reinstated and then suspended again due to lack of funds . Let's also forget that the all powerful government couldn't even build a website that could handle the demands of such a program . Impressive to say the least . This was only a one billion dollar idea and already the logistics of it are a complete disaster . These are the same people who want you to believe that government run health care will not only work but run smoothly . Really ? Come on now .

Any way the thing that really disturbs me about this whole plan is the mandatory stipulation that the " clunkers " be completely destroyed . WHAT !! WHY ? So that the evil gas gusseling clunker never has the chance to hit the road again ? I am stupefied by the ridiculousness this rule . Now we are not talking about the dismantling , or even the scrapping of these vehicles , we are talking " completely destroyed " . The clunkers are to crushed and the engines rendered incapable of ever functioning again .

In a down economy can any of you Obama nuts explain to me how destroying a perfectly resellable commodity such as used vehicle is a good idea ? It's a car for gods sake ! How many of us can not afford to buy new ? How many Americans have never been able to buy new ? Why are we destroying used cars ? Think of the people hurt by this stupidity .

Used car dealerships - already hurting from the down economy now have fewer vehicles to put on their lots .

Used car buyers - those of us who can't afford the payments on new cars now have fewer options

Junkyards . owners and buyers - How many countless Americans make a living selling used parts ? How many others make a living rebuilding used cars for resale ? Hell how many people are just plain frugal and get the parts they need for repairs from junkyards instead of buying new from a parts house ?

This idea makes about as much sense as burning all the wheat fields in America's heartland to reduce obesity . Why not round up all the " clunkers " and have big ol government car auction ? Proceeds could go to the soon to be bankrupt medicare and medicaid programs . Anything but pointlessly throwing them away ! Not to mention we are talking about engines here . The internal combustion engine ; one the greatest innovations of all time and one of building blocks of America . Better not leave any of those hanging around . Wow .

Only an America hater like Obama could conceive of a plan to throw away valuable goods and still convince half the country that spending invisible money is the way to improve the economy .

N.F.L. 2009 So many questions !

Have the summer months begun to drag on for anyone else ? I love me some baseball but lets be honest this time of year is the worst . Now that August is upon us and training camps have begun it's time start asking the hard questions .

Will Tom Brady's return relocate the Patriots to the top of the AFC ? Can the Steelers repeat ? Will the Cardinals even return to the playoffs ? Just the tip of the N.F.L. iceberg and it's already intriguing . Can the Giants recover from last years playoff disappointment ? Can the young Falcons improve on last years dream season ? Will the Lions win a game ?

These are all big time important issues for the upcoming season . But the X's and O's are just a small part of the N.F.L. experience as we all know . The drama of wins and losses is after all just a side show to the outrageous fragility of a pampered athlete , a commodity the N.F.L. has in abundance . Therefore I have compiled a list of the five most important things to watch for in the upcoming season . I warn you these issues are real and not easy to talk about but I will try and prognosticate as well as I am able .

( 1 ) WHEN WILL T.O. CRY ???? Notice it's question of when and not if . Now we know that Mr. Owens has become a little emotional over the years . Lashing out at veteran QBs . Overloading himself with pills , and crying in post game pressers. I do not however believe that T.O. will burden us with his heartfelt sadness this year . Instead I believe Mr. Owens will find himself in the glorious position of being moved to tears by overwhelming joy . I'm afraid it will go like this .

In a meaningless week 4 match up the 0 - 3 Bills will travel to Miami to square off against a gritty 0 - 3 dolphins squad . In a less than impressive 45 - 21 loss the electrifying Owens will catch his 3rd , 4th , and 5th touchdowns of the year moving him 1 TD past Marcus Allen on the all time list . Despite the 0 - 4 start Mr. Owens will be overcome with joy as he proclaims himself the best running back of all time . Despite the fact that he is still 29 TDs behind Emmit Smith and has never played running back . In a disturbing side bar a distraught Trent Edwards will channel his inner Rob Johnson and completely dissapear from the world as we know it .

( 2 ) HOW WILL TONY ROMO PERFORM IN 2009 WITHOUT JESSICA SIMPSON AT HIS SIDE ??? After compiling the most impressive regular season ever the 16 - 0 Cowboys ( led by MVP ROMO 6375 yds 72 TDs 0 picks ) will be awarded the first ever " NFC BYE " as Ed Werder proclaims ( live from Dallas ) that the Cowboys are NFC champs .

During the unprecedented 4 week playoff bye Tony Romo will refuse to watch game film on any AFC opponent . Instead he devotes the month to constructing a time machine in a successful attempt to return to 1991 and quote " take a run " at a 23 year old Cindy Crawford . ( the pepsi commercial ? ) Oh yeah . After collapsing in the 3rd quarter of the Superbowl due to dehydration Mr. Romo is asked if he's incapable of winning the big one or if he just hasn't done it yet ? To which a benign Romo responds " Who gives a crap ? I just one upped the biggest pimp ever . ME !

( 3 )HOW WILL CHAD OCHOCINCO CELEBRATE HIS FIRST TD ???? Ladies and gentlemen I implore you to put the youngsters to bed . This one is scary . Despite the fact that the 2009 Bengals training camp is overrun with HBO cameramen filming the next installment of Hard Knocks , Chad Ochocinco will be compelled to start a spin off reality show which he calls " Hard-score the Chadoff " in which he competes against an all star cast off himself to win the right to have his own dance performed during his first regular season touchdown celebration . Beating no odds at all Chad Ochocinco wins his own competition and prepares to reap his own benefits in week one .

Unfortunately after week 10 the 0 - 9 Bengals have not yet thrown a TD to any wide receiver . Carson Palmer has scored all of the Bengals offensive touchdowns thus far on 4 truly remarkable red zone scrambles . Wide receiver Chris Johnson speaks out in team meetings believing he is not only guarded by the defense but checked by number 85 himself in an effort to protect the team lead in receiving TDs . ( 0 )

Sadly it only gets worse from here . After becoming mathematically ineligible to make the playoffs Chad Ochocinco predicts a Superbowl run . This year . However upon arriving in Oakland for a week 11 tilt of last place teams a large but not uncivil contingent of Spanish speaking Raider fans gently inform Chad that the words ocho cinco do not even translate to the American number 85 . Realizing that he has changed his name to Chad 8-5 Ochocinco finally looses his cool . The Bengals are forced to forfeit the game and the win is awarded to the Raiders as number 85 can not be removed from his stranglehold on the visiting goalpost . He is heard to be mumbling to the exterior padding " you tell em what we talked about Denzel , you tell em ". Sad , to say the least .

( 4 ) MANNING v. MANNING WHO'S THE MAN ??? The fact that the Colts and Giants are not scheduled to meet on the field this year will have little relevance on the Mannings sibling rivalry . Deadlocked at 1 Superbowl each , only a Superbowl showdown would provide an opportunity to break the tie in 2009 , but as I've already stated the Cowboys will be declared NFC champs sans playoff competition . So forget about all that noise . Likewise Peyton's overwhelming statistical advantage is irrelevant to this conversation .

In the spirit of competition ( and endorsement dollars ) the Mannings decide to call the sport of Oreo licking a draw ( as both men are so overzealous in they're licking they continually break the fragile cookie shell ) and look forward to the next round . After signing a multi billion dollar deal with Jell-O the Mannings embark on a 6 week 10 city Pudding Pop sucking tour . The competition is as disturbing as it is fierce . Both men appear to be accomplished suckers . Everything seems to going well until the week 3 suck off in Des Moines , Iowa . After blowing a 5 pop lead in the waning moments the elder Peyton accuses brother Eli of quote " being a biter " and chaos ensues . The brawl seems to be escalating out of control until an enraged father Archie arrives on the stage and clunks the Mannings heads together . Amazingly young Eli has the where withal to aim a two finger eye poke at dear old dad . The veteran Hall of Famer is unfazed however and quickly throws up an inverted paper sign over his nose easily blocking the attack with his left hand while simultaneously snatching Peyton's wrist and forcing him to slap his own brother . Needless to say Bill Cosby is not impressed by the childrens act and summarily rips up the contract for the remaining contests .

When asked for his opinion on the incident later in the week President Obama is quoted as saying " The previous administration left us with several unresolved issues " to which an upstart journalist pressed him by asking how George W. bush was relevant to the conversation in any way shape or form the President responded thus " the stimulus is working "

( 5 ) WILL COMMISSIONER GOODELL EVER ASSERT HIS POWER OF OFFICE ???? Many NFL fans believe that the shear size of player contracts are skyrocketing out of control . Indeed it seems frivolous when a guy making 3 million dollars demands a raise for catching 38 passes in a season , but what the average fan doesn't know is that NFL players see very little of the contracts they sign . The NFL fines the players for EVERYTHING . Socks to high , socks to low , excessive finger tape , looking sideways at a quarterback , using your space age metal hat as a ram in a brutal attempt to snap a defenseless man's spine , and shooting yourself in the leg . Ticky - Tack fouls , all .

But I digress . The universe watches with rapt attention the decisions of one Mr. Roger Goodell . A.K.A. The Commish , to see if he is able to reign in the ridiculous behavior of his players . Personally I'm afraid to look to closely . Mr. Goodell has already displayed a heavy hand when dealing with the out of liners . Yet the players continue to act out against his authority . A man who has taken a stance like the commish is already far beyond going back . To go easy one time would completely discredit his authority and make him look like he's waffling . I don't get the impression that Mr. Goodell is the kind of man that takes to embarrassment well .

No I believe our new commish has trapped himself in a deadly game of escalating punishments . Soon he will be forced to go far beyond the limits of his authority in an ill fated attempt to maintain his dignity . Worst case scenario ? Roger Goodell no longer has the time to abide by the legal process . When pushed by the players union to grant due process an overly stressed Goodell resorts to bio-enhancement and has his right arm reconfigured into a yellow flag launcher . Not surprisingly the new " penalty flager " has far reaching consequences .

Tiny sacs of plastic beads fired at a high rate of speed become bullets . Soon the military has to be called in to sequester a frantic Goodell , but upon arriving at the top secret NFL headquarters authorities find that Goodell has somehow morphed into a transformer and has assembled a rather large army of referee-bots . At a loss for words the U.S. military is quickly overrun and gunned down by a hail of yellow death sacs .

Sound a little ridiculous ? Maybe , but we all know that the NFL is the biggest sport on earth ( eat that soccer fan ) so if it happened how could we stop it ? We couldn't that's how . We would all to busy watching Brett Favre disassemble behind a podium somewhere to do anything . So the next time you forget to pull both socks up to a matching height , remember the NFL is watching .




this has been a Ragu Rewind